Divine Like The Wolves
by Lkirsten394
Summary: It's Senior year and Blackthorne is coming back. Cammie has yet to recover her memories and the secret of the Circle. Suddenly, someone comes back into her life and makes everything more complicated. The Circle wants Cammie dead and suspicion is rising among the school. What happens when Cammie's life may be in danger...again? T for safety 'cause I'm paranoid. R
1. Falling off the flat Earth

**_Divine like the Wolves- Chapter 1_**

**_Falling off the flat Earth_**

**_Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns Gallagher Girls_**

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_Cammie's Point of View_

When I was young, my mother always used to tell me that when things got tough, all you had to do was stand up. I didn't know what she meant as my palms laid flat on the floor and I looked at the world upside down between my legs. But now as I run with my heart pounding in my chest, I understand it was her way of saying, "Look on the bright side." I am looking on the bright side as I run towards the bright, rested and eastern sun. It is six in the morning at Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women as I run around the track. My feet hit the Earth with a wonderful, crunch, crunch, crunch. Despite the fact that it's mid-September, I can already feel the creeping warmth that will later turn to heat in this warm morning. But I keep running to clear my head that twirls and spins with thoughts zooming in and out of my aching head.

It's been months since Dr. Steve left. Since I nearly died. My hair is just past my shoulders now and it makes me feel like the whole world may be settling back into place. I'm safe here. But my memory couldn't come back any faster. There are bits and pieces and flashes of images. But they get blurry as soon as they come. I fear that if I remember everything, who will I be? On top of this of course things have to be piled. Of course I must mull them over in my head and toss and turn in bed. Would I be Cammie if I didn't? It's the first semester of Senior Year. My last year before I go out into the world again. My last years of sleeping in the same room as my roommates and hiding in that hiding spot. Even if people have been watching me like a hawk. Today, Blackthorne would be arriving for second semester. Blackthorne means Zack. Zack means confusion. Zack means happiness and so many emotions all at once I could fly on them. They'll arrive in time for classes on Monday and I'm nervous.

But today is a new day. A day where anything can happen. Bex doing her homework on a Saturday. Possibly. So I run here around the track and listen to the birds. I listen to the crunch of sand under my feet and let the early sun bathe my body in hope. The blue sky stretches beyond where I can see and beautiful fluffy clouds are painted with craft in the sky. My legs begin to burn and my breathing starts to pick up. I don't know how long I have been running for. But what I assumed to be 6:00 it's probably closer to 7:00 now. I start to sweat and my pony tail begins to loosen. I could keep going, but I slow down and stop. My roommates will not be satisfied with the note I left if they wake up early for the arrival. So I start to head back to the mansion, feeling lighter than I did this morning. And that's not just the dinner being burned off.

I am reaching the long driveway and look down to see if the security guy will notice me. He let me out this morning and said he would let me back in. I think it was pity, as it settled over his face and softened his brown eyes. I wave my arms over my head and as far as my vision will let me see, I can tell that he's out of his post. He stands tall and strong from his posture but his back is towards me. This is odd. Suddenly, fear and anger wash over me like a tsunami. It hits me so fast that I have to take a few steps back. Fear. Anger. No, fear. They fight inside of my stomach, trying to take hold of me and in the process; they make my stomach drop to the fiery ball in the middle of the Earth. Either one will make me cower or be reckless. Who is he arguing with? Is he with someone? Who is it? I think of my enemies and rude teens from town who don't like us. People flash in my mind as I duck just in case. But if it were a huge threat, wouldn't there be an alarm? Wouldn't the highly trained spies who are in the mansion right now be out here kicking butt? I slowly and awkwardly stand up from my ducking position and thank God that it's Saturday. Otherwise it would be a better chance that people would see me. If they could spot a Chameleon. A Chameleon blending in with gravel. A human Chameleon. I then feel ridiculous and decide to just stand by the door and wait. The Guard turns left and reveals the person who he was arguing with. He is looking up at the Guard with his head nearly to the sky as the Guard looms over him.

In one quick breath I am dropping from the face of the Earth like as if it were flat. I feel like puking out the emptiness in my stomach but at the same time my fingers tingle with excitement and spreads. I am being torn apart inside once again, but then I find myself jogging. I run faster and faster because I have a feeling deep inside that I should do this. I have to. But I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do. I'm not sure if I should be so close now. He watches me run to him and ignores the Guard just as I come to a halt. I open my mouth at the same time he does just as the fear vanishes. I close it to let him talk but he does the same. _Speak Cammie!_

"Josh..." It comes out in no more than a whisper and the invisible hand wrapping tight around my body squeezes. I should be ready for things like this. I've been almost hypnotized to throw myself off a roof, went missing for a summer, lost my memory and not to mention this has sort of happened before. But all my years of spy training have not prepared me for seeing my first ex-boyfriend again. Maybe I should be used to this by now...things being thrown my way in various ways at different speeds.

"Hey, Cammie." An involuntary shiver goes down my spine as he speaks my name. His hair is still the curly brown but he's gotten older of course. His curls aren't cute anymore and more like waves. His face and body have lost that bit of baby fat. Basically, he's aged in all the right ways. He wears grey sweatpants with elastics at the bottom, red Nikes and a simple black t-shirt that makes my heart pump faster than it already was. But his eyes. His brown eyes see me. They don't look through me, or analyze me. He's looking at Cameron Morgan. I begin to work again.

"What...what are you doing here?" I ask as I see his sweat. He's slowing down his breathing and takes a look at the Guard. All the while the heat goes a degree hotter and the sun gets higher. But I'm too stunned to do anything.

"I know, Cammie-" he starts, more urgent than before. He takes a couple steps towards me and determination envelopes his face.

"I have to notify your mother, Ms. Morgan! A serious breach may occur, I know I should have done it in the first place but...I thought...I didn't know..." He quickly stumbles back to his post and opens the door. Josh and I watch him as I just stand here as stiff as a stick. He looks back at me and closes the space between us. I hold my breath as he talks.

"Cammie, I remember! I remember everything...I remember you on the roof and the tea-oh the tea." He talks so fast and moves so much. I might as well have been kicked in the stomach. My knees shake as I break out into hysteria and my arms wave everywhere.

"What?! No! You are not supposed to remember! You are not supposed to break the system, Josh!"

"I didn't try to remember! Do you think it's fun remembering your ex-girlfriend is a-" Fast as lighting I cover his mouth in one swift movement. My stomach keeps dropping and my heart races so fast.

"Shh! Never!" I whisper fiercely. He almost said it. An outsider almost said it. Suddenly my shock turns to anger because that's the easiest emotion to call up.

"Why are you here?! Why did you come, Josh?!" I ask, exasperated. The Guard who is obviously not a highly trained spy comes running out and grabs Josh by the shoulder.

"Walk, boy." He says. Josh frowns at him and is about to shrug him off when I hear the sound of people rushing. Josh and I look. A rampage about to happen is heading our way.

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**_A/N: Hey! This is my new story and I just wanted a fresh start from My Dear Raven so I got one and am really excited with the improved writing and plot! This is a short chapter but the next one will be about 2k longer. Please read & review! I would appreciate it and will be uploading the second chapter in this week! Kay, buh-bye._**


	2. The Beginning

_**Divine like the Wolves- Chapter 2**_

_** The Beginning**_

_** Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns original characters and story. The rest is mine ^.^**_

My mother leads Professor Buckingham, Mr. Solomon, Mr. Smith and Aunt Abby towards us. Mom says Aunt Abby is here for staff reasons to help Joe this year. But I know it's to watch me.

"Oh my..." I take a big breath and compose myself. I walk alongside Josh towards Mom, her hair a mess and still in my father's pyjamas. She doesn't look professional, but the way she carries herself towards us says otherwise. She walks demanding, tall and confident. He jaw set in place but eyes soft. Alongside Joe, Abby, Mr. Smith and Professor Buckingham I would hide if there were enough people around.

"Good morning, Josh." Mom says. We all halt and I look at her tentatively. "Cameron."  
She used the full name. She takes a look at our running clothes, the last bit of sweat and the space between Josh and I. Oh no. My eyes widen as I put the pieces together.  
"Mom, it's not what it looks like-"I start.

"Cameron, we'll talk about this later." She cuts me off and looks to Mr. Solomon. "We have to deal with this inside." I know Mom is just doing her job and acting like this because she has to. But I am always surprised to see her in action, dealing with things like this. She's so calm and ready. Why can't I get it through my head that anything can happen? I look at Josh as he looks at me. I know immediately from his eyes that he is scared. He stands confident and for some reason I find myself falling in those blue eyes. No, I can't do this. I look away quickly just as Aunt Abby steps up to speak.

"Thank you, Dave for notifying us. We've got it from here. Let's go kids." She says. Ouch! I have to admit the kids part hurt. "Dave" as he's called walks away, obviously in disappointment. They lead us into the mansion and I pray to God that none of my sisters are awake yet. As if we were the enemy, Mr. Smith walks behind us as Mom whispers ahead.

Mr. Smith has gone through countless plastic surgery. This year coming back from summer break, he has to look different of course. He has high cheekbones, stubble and a longer face from before. It's weird to say this but...he looks hot. I guess it's the fact that I don't know his real age or maybe because he's my teacher. A few hours talking to my friends about this matter a few weeks ago has already been done.

I look over to Josh and feel that bubble making its way in my throat. He doesn't look at me again and still has his brave face on. What's going on in his head? I strain to hear Mom's conversation that's happening in an African language. We started learning it last week but I'm not very good at it yet. I hear the words Blackthorne and possible. I cringe and give up. Those dang spies.

We finally enter the Mansion and I'm relieved to say, no one was wondering the halls. They're all probably cozy in bed waiting for the Welcoming Breakfast to happen at 8:30am. This starts in an hour. An hour till Zack comes. An hour till Zack meets my ex-boyfriend-who-remembers-everything. Zack-who-calls-Josh-Jimmy Zack. I cringe again and intake air. I hold it there till we are almost to Mom's office. The tap, tap, tap of shoe and the Gillian Gallagher sword displayed out in the open with an outsider inside makes me want to hurl myself into the wall and hide it with my body. But Josh sees it and his eyes go wide. Not in surprise though. In something else. We go through the doors of Mom's office and I wait for the trouble to begin. The doors click shut and Mom takes her seat at her desk, Mr. Solomon and Mr. Smith at the doors. I almost scoff, paranoid men.

"Take a seat." We slowly sit down in the comfy chairs and it is so quite I wonder if people are still in the room with us. I hope so.

"So Josh, tell me. What happened up until this morning?" she asks. I keep my eyes on her at all times. I see him glance at me and I don't look at him. It will make it look like we planned this. I can't have people watching me all the time even more than they already are.

"Well...it started last night before I went to sleep. My head started to hurt a lot. Then...I got flashes of memories from that time I..." He clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable with Mom's stare down. "Anyway, I got flashes of memories and then suddenly I was up running here six this morning. I don't know why I suddenly remembered but I knew that I had to get here as soon as I could without anyone knowing. So I ran here and the Guard," He says with distaste. "Told me that I was delirious and told me to go home. I told him what I knew and then...there was Cammie."

I jump in as fast as I can. "I woke up this morning and decided to go for a run. When I was done I waited for...Dave to let me back in but I noticed he was talking to someone. It was Josh and I didn't sneak out Mom, if that's what you thought. Well, I did but not in the way that you think I did." I ramble on and I should stop. But my mouth drives itself at top speed. "I just wanted to run before the boys get here and-oh God that didn't sound right. I wanted to clear my head and then Josh was there and I would never sneak out to see him again and this isn't like the last time Mom I swear." By the end I am out of breath and realized that I didn't break. I take a big breath and wait for Mom to say something.

"Boys...? I thought this was an all girls school." Josh says. Is it just me or...did Josh sound jealous? I hear somebody stifle a laugh behind us and I know immediately it's Joe. I see Aunt Abby kill a smile and I know...it wasn't just me. A queasy feeling settles on me and it's not just from the situation. If you know what I mean.

"Abby." Mom says. Aunt Abby walks up to Josh in a very spy like way.

"What exactly do you know Josh? How long-and I mean to the hour- have you known? Don't try to lie either because everyone in this room will know if you do." That's true. Josh bites his lip and I swear, it is the hottest thing I have seen in my life. The thought comes into my head and I think of Zack's annoying smirk. I then feel guilty and shun the thought from my head. I have to stop these invading...and accurate thoughts. NO!

"I know that this is a spy school for girls and a woman named Gillian Gallagher founded it. I know that the ordinary school is a cover up and that Cammie was on a mission the night I tried to...save her." He says the last part to his lap than to Aunt Abby who always captivates the speaker.  
"I know that after I drank the tea I felt kind of weird. When I got home I didn't remember anything I did that night. Last night I started having...flashes of memories. It was painful like I have already said. I went to sleep and that's when I saw everything. I got up right away and ran here. From 10 to 6. From 10 to 6 Everything came back."

It's quiet in the room again until Mr. Smith speaks up. "Rachel, considering he shouldn't have remembered in the first place do you think trying again would do anything?"

Suddenly Josh stands up so fast, making everyone in the room jump up also, like as if there were a bomb under Josh's feet. He doesn't look startled and this surprises me as I sit back down. "I'm not drinking it again...you can't make me."

"I'm afraid child, we can." Professor Buckingham says. Her tone is so grave I get scared myself. She may be old but no one...messes with Professor B.

"We can do a lot of things." Aunt Abby says evilly.

"Abby!" My mother snaps. "Kiddo, take him outside for a bit and explain Blackthorne for us before they arrive. They're scheduled to arrive in-"

"15.53 minutes." I say immediately. She smiles a quiet kind of proud and nods. Knees wobbling and empty threatening to work its way up my throat, I get up from my chair. Josh is still standing as I take the two apples on Mom's desk and keep eye contact with her as I do, waiting for her to object. As soon as they're off the desk and her eyebrows are pulled together in question, I lead Josh out of the room. Joe is standing arms crossed and jaw strong at the door. I look at both him and Mr. Smith as I head out with Josh.

Just as the door clicks shut I hand Josh the apples and put my ear to the door. I hear mumbling in a different language I don't know of course. A few seconds of this and I look in the direction of the secret passage that leads to Mom's office. I decide not to since the last time I was there, I witnessed her crying on dad's birthday. The memory makes me feel guilty and I look at Josh. Instead of feeling frustration from before I decide to deal with what Mom asked me to do. He looks worn out and I notice that he has subtle dark circles under his eyes and I wonder how much sleep he gets.

"Let's sit." I say, leading him to the bench that sits outside the door. I don't know how many times I sat here, waiting to hear Mom's disappointment. I'm grateful that the mahogany bookshelf conceals Josh and I from the girls that have started to come out of their rooms. Blackthorne should be here and I smell breakfast. I hope Mom gets dressed soon. I take an apple from him and polish it. He looks carefully at it as if investigating.

"Don't worry; it's just a regular apple. It may be Mr. Fibbs poisonous apple but...you never know. It's odourless and would be hard to tell. Anyone but him could mistake them for ordinary apples." I shrug and as I bring it to my mouth, he surges forward as if to stop me. I take a quick bite and smile. After that I get shy again. I look away, my face getting hot.

"How are you, Cammie?" His voice is so soft and lacks the regular intensity that most people ask the question with. He says it casually and won't throw me in a hospital if I say the wrong thing. I look up at him, astonished.

"I-I'm fine. How are you?"

"You look like as if you're surprised to be asked that," he laughs. "I've been...doing well. I started applying for colleges and..." He trails off as I frown at the word _college._ I may not go to college. I don't have much of a choice.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I don't have much of a choice in..." I explain. I stuff my mouth with apple and chew fast. The way he sits so calm and collected while my world is so brittle at the edges makes me uneasy. I slow down my apple and decide to give myself a person to be. I know I shouldn't. But it makes me feel better as my nerves boil and spill. I am Cameron, calm and collected Cameron.

"You know, being here is easier for me. I've already done it once and I know about the school. I just feel...better I guess. Not so nervous." He gets quiet at the end and I notice how is body I not very open and the way his muscles tense.

"Blackthorne," I start, coughing down the bits of my apple and turning away from him. "Is a spy school for boys. I can't tell you the location of course but the year I saw you and DeeDee they were doing an exchange with us. Not really an exchange since none of my sisters went-"

"Wait, you have sisters?" He asks suddenly. Out of what I just told him he goes with sisters? I try not to roll my eyes and laugh.

"Classmates, Josh. Anyway, they're coming back for first semester and should arrive in most likely 10 minutes." I say. Josh and I watch the girls descend the stairs in uniform because Mom said so. She wanted us to wear our uniform for the arrival so we look as professional as we are. "We're having a Welcoming Breakfast soon and-" I stop talking as soon as I hear the chatter of girls in the hall. To prevent havoc that no one needs I push Josh further down the bench with my strength and hide closer to the bookshelf. He looks at me surprised.

"They can't see you. Not yet, anyway. Why aren't you surprised about Blackthorne?" I ask.

"Give me a little credit Cammie, I kind of figured that there had to be a school for boys. There's one for girls so why not for boys?" Why hadn't I thought of that? "And holy crap Cammie! You're strong!"

I peer around the corner of the bookshelf and just a few more girls walk down the corridor. Suddenly, the door begins to open and I move away from Josh. I just realized the side of my body was pressed against his. Mom walks out, fully dressed and perfection. She smiles at me and ushers us in. We stand by the door as the five adults watch us.

"We have decided to let Josh have a decision. Josh, you can stay and bear the secret of us. You have to train to be one of us and work very hard. Or, you can drink this," My mother hold out a tiny white cup with yellow liquid inside. "It's not coated in tea and is stronger. If you drink this you can go home and carry on with the rest of your life. You will forget and if you remember again, we will do this again. And again until the day you cannot any longer."

The weight of her words sinks in and I look to Josh. He looks at me and I stare at his face. He looks away from me and back to Mom.

Next thing I know, I am surrounded by my sisters in the Great Room with my running clothes on. I didn't have time to change from my navy blue t-shirt that used to be my dad's. It's a bit baggy and worn out, but the fabric is still comfortable. I wear magenta running shorts and my yellow Nikes. They remind me of lightning and I even drew a lightning bolt on the back of them with red Sharpie. I look at my hands as Mom goes up to the podium to speak. I don't listen though; I don't see much point in it. It's going to be the same introduction with different words coming out of her beautiful face. She already cleared the bump and Joe and Aunt Abby are gone to fix the problem that stirred. I hear Mom speak but all I can focus on is Josh sitting right next to me and the eyes that watch every angle of me. No one is supposed to see me, people can't. But lately people watch me all the time and it's not supposed to be that way. Being in the light for the hundredth time burns a hole through me as I try to find a way to conceal myself with the emptiness around me. Bex, Liz and Macey all sit across from us and stare at Josh with their lips apart as if their jaws are weak. He sits so close to me that our knees brush from time to time. I can't say I don't mind. I literally cannot say I don't mind. Tina sits a little ways down but I swear that girl has acute hearing. I make a mental note to use her hearing for future missions. The Great Hall was filled with whispers and gaping eyes, all eager to consume every big of my comfort.

"Now, I would like to present the cove-op teacher for Blackthorne Institute." I look up at my brilliant Mom just as a tall man comes up to the podium. He has short, dark hair with the whole army look going for him. My heart nearly falls out of my chest as I take in his appearance. He looks like my father. Mom doesn't seem to be bothered as she stands confident and smiling. I wonder if she's being torn up inside or if she really chooses not to see the sick resemblance.

"Hello, I am Mr. McGraw. I teach the boys at Blackthorne Institute and will be joining your CoveOp teachers in the process of teaching my boys. I look forward to working with you all," He gives a winning smile and the churning sickness I feel building inside my body forces me to look away and back into my lap.

"Cam, doesn't he look like your-" Liz gets cut off by an elbow in the ribs by Bex just before I look up. I thank Liz for not being oblivious and hiding her pain behind that forced smile. I couldn't stand it if I heard it out loud. I look at Josh and notice that he has his head hung low. Maybe it's his way of hiding. But it only increases the amount the girls watching him. They want something they can chew on and spit out into gossip later on. They wait for him to do something, to say something. I tap under my chin with the back of my fingers to let him know to keep his head up. He gives me a small smile and raises his head a bit.

As if on cue, the boys enter. They come through the door where Mom and Mr. McGraw came in through, a single, blue and grey line gathering at the front of the Great Hall. I try not to look for Zack but my eyes wonder hungrily down the grey t-shirts and blue pants as if they were starved from beauty. Let me tell you, they were not. I find him in a matter of seconds standing beside Grant. He looks about the same but his hair is slightly longer. His smile has also stayed the same as he spots me looking at him. I try to smile back but I can't. The smile falls off my face as I feel Josh looking at me.

"Welcome Blackthrone, our kitchen staff has made this incredible breakfast for you. Enjoy."

The boys descend the stage and Zack begins walking this way with Grant and Jonas trailing behind. I glance at him once but pay attention to the servers placing the delicious food out into the table. My stomach does a weird flip for the hundredth time this morning and I can't help but to smile. I look at him again, this time my smile staying on my face. I have a warm feeling spreading and it's not light and airy though. It's the kind of feeling you have after a long day and you go rest in bed. A feeling of pure relaxation, soothing my tense body.

Jonas and Grant sit next to Bex and Liz while Zach sits by me. He barely even looks at Josh as he pulls me into a tight embrace. My body turns to him and I fall into him comfortably. I want to stay here forever, to breathe in his scent of grass and summer nights. But the hug lasts about two seconds when he starts to pull away. He quickly whispers, "Later." I look up at him and quickly caress his has hand under the table. That's when the girls start to eat.

Being starving and just finishing a run, I load my plate. I know I should feel self-conscious with the boys being here, but I don't. If the table could, it would weigh down. Plates of egg Benedict, bacon, fruit, pancakes, waffles and various breakfast meats cover the table except for our eating area. Fruits and spices act as a final touch on a piece of art and I notice one cook looking tired as she heads back into the kitchen. The aroma finally registers as my nerves subside. Even though they are buzzing inside, waiting to spill, I eat. My friends catch up but all I do is listen to the hum of Zack's beautiful voice. They try to get me to engage but I fill my mouth with food. Even when Zack asks me how I've been. I shrug and give him a smile with cheeks filled with egg. I enjoy every bite, every sip of orange juice and the company of Zack at my side. I feel secure, like someone being my eyes in a mission. My partner. I look over at Josh and feel guilty. Here I am, eating my worry and hunger away as everybody talks to everybody but him. He quietly eats eggs, bacon and toast while sipping some coffee. It's a simple choice from the fancy piles of food, but I admire it.

I swallow my waffle and drink some juice before I decide to end some conversations. Everybody is going to want to stop and listen."Enjoying your breakfast?" I ask.

"Yeah, the coffee is the best." He smiles. I notice he looks warily towards the tea sitting in front of him.

"I didn't know you drank coffee." I respond and then drinking some orange juice.

"I just started."

I laugh involuntarily, breaking the ice but also bringing attention towards us. More attention should say.

"Don't worry, the tea is fine." I whisper. "You have to learn to trust our food."

"Good, I want to remember this fine breakfast. I'll be dreaming about it forever." He laughs, bringing a little tortilla cup thing stuffed with unknowns. "Mmmm, I love this."

"What is it?" I ask, picking one up myself.

"I don't know." He says as he takes a bite. I laugh easily again and take one myself. My taste buds explode as the taste of peppers, egg and even spices enter my mouth. Cheese burns my tongue but it is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten. The toasted tortilla crunches in my mouth and crumbs fall in my lap.

"You pick out food very well." I sigh.

"So Josh, what are you interested in?" Macey asks, bringing on her persuasive voice. I turn back and continue eating the rest of my breakfast. Our group's conversation has died down to a minimal as they all listen to what he has to say.

"Well I play basketball and I run now. But...I bet you can all do more than that so..." He says awkwardly. They nod respectively.

"Josh has good memory." I say. This will most likely be his asset later on. Beating the tea isn't just a malfunction with the tea. Oh no. That's not the way spies intended it to be. Here at Gallagher, we hit the target, either intend to miss or find away to gain a second try after we were only allowed one.

"Oh, me too!" Liz pipes up.

"Liz is our genius." Bex says.

"Jonas isn't too bad either." Grant adds in.

"Better than you." Zack laughs.

"I'm sorry, I don't know any of your names." Josh says. He looks at me expectantly.

"Cammie, how could you not introduce us?" Macey says, faking disappointment. She winks at me and I hope they've missed it.

I scoff. "Josh, this is Macey, Bex who you do not want to be punched by. Speaking from personal experience. This is Grant, Liz and Jonas." I pause for a second as I turn to Zack. "And this is Zack. Everybody, this is Josh. He likes pizza." I finish. I look at him as he smiles, they all say their hello's and begin talking like old pals. Turns out, Josh is a good people person. He comes up with questions fast, cracks jokes and is so easy going. Zack doesn't say much, laughs occasionally and says something witty of his own. But most of the time, he hold my hand under the table. I feel at peace as he sits by my side, holding my hand and making me feel safe. The thoughts I was having about Josh get replaced and I no longer feel guilty. My friends get along with Josh and the cold ice has broken. I feel the eyes move off of us as if we became boring and I calm down. Maybe this semester will go good. Maybe the bright side will be more evident and show itself clearly.

_**A/N: Heeey! So yeah...this is the chapter. I will post the fourth one most likely nest week. I know it's going a little slow, but I want the story to progress and do the things an actual story should do. If you love Zammie...I know. Me too. More Zack to come! Thank you for your encouragement and let me know how you feel about the length of this chapter. Too long? Let me know. Kay, have a good weekend! ^.^ And stay with me.**_


	3. Lurking Shadows

**Divine Like the Wolves- Chapter 3  
Lurking Shadows  
Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns, except the characters that are obviously mine c;**

As soon as Josh has his last bite, Mom comes to collect him like as if he were something fragile in the hands of a giant. He is ushered out in the calmest way possible with Professor Buckingham trailing along. I wonder what they're doing, but my mind immediately becomes taken over as Zach leans in.

"I'll wait for you." He kisses my cheek before he gets up and walks out of the Great Room. I look at Macey, then Bex and finally Liz. My heart races a mile a minute and I want to zoom out of the room with it. Who cares what the girls think? I begin to get up so I can go meet Zach, but just then Aunt Abby and Joe walk in. She takes one look at me and I know, I won't be able to get away.

"Macey, can you come with me to the room?" I ask, casually. "We'll wait for Bex and Liz there."  
"Oh, sure." She says, picking up on my tone. We walk out of the Great Room together. But not before Bex wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"Why are we doing this?" She asks.  
"If Joe and Aunt Abby see me walking out by myself and Zach isn't around, they're not going to let me go." I explain.

"Okay, but ew, Cam you have got to stop calling him Joe. It sounds creepy." She shakes her shoulders like she was trying to get a boy's needy hands off her shoulders. I laugh. Since the events following that summer, I have been calling him Joe. There's something about calling him by his first name that brings me back to my dad. Or closer than I can ever be anymore. More closer than wearing his t-shirt or even remembering the damaged nails that I have gained last summer. The scratching...the dirt. I shake my head at a shameless attempt to rid myself of these thoughts. It will come back. It always comes back. The few memories that have always do. The horrible truth that I had uncovered from my trip to Rome, stain my dreams. Stain my mind in black, seething darkness.

When I get out of the doors, Macey splits off with a wink. "See you in the room, with details." I frown at her playfully, then smile. I begin looking around for Zach and I think of the one place he could be.

It's been awhile since I've climbed through here. The kitchen staff was resting in a separate eating room of their own as I snuck through. It's dark here but cool. It hits my skin and brings up the memories that lurk in the back of my mind. Cobwebs cover the walls as an indicator that it hasn't been used too often. As I walk I move the dust around my feet and can just hear the sound of my shoes tapping the floor as I sneak out to see Josh. Those simpler days are gone and in the cold of this tunnel, of my escape from the world Josh wouldn't accept, I see him. Zach leans against the wall and I approach him.

"Hey." I say, a little awkward because he still hasn't addressed that I am here. He jumps a little bit as he looks my direction.

"Holy Shit! I didn't know you were there!" He laughs. I feel a tiny tingle of pride that drops to uncertainty. How did I get to be so quiet? How can I move through the tunnel like nothing more than merely dust coating the cement? Then the questions disappear into the cobwebs when I have the sudden feeling to be close to him. I take quick steps and wrap my arms around his waist. I bury my face in his shirt and let myself be here. I let myself be selfish and attend my needs. My need to tame these lurking thoughts that crawl in the shadows of my mind and the nonsense I use to push them back. They must stay in the shadows and I am the only one who can keep them there. For the first time since he abandoned his room and left for Blackthorne, I feel safe. Relief eases my tense and tired bones.

"I missed you." He murmurs in my hair. His heart beat is steady as I hold on longer.

"You should have stayed here with me." I respond, closing my eyes. Zach left just after Dr. Steve did. He returned to Blackthorne as I carried on my senior year here.

"I wish I could have, but I couldn't. I missed you so much."

"I missed you." I look up at him, leaning in. Our lips meet and his are smooth, firm and warm. I kiss him using the months apart, using the security I feel and the burning, thrashing dragon in my stomach. Butterflies are cute and mild. A dragon is not. I stand here, pressed up against Zach with cobwebs hanging over our head with a dragon in my stomach. Something wraps around my chest and squeezes. My heart wants to explode in happiness so I can let go. Let loose. But something holds it together and keeps it locked in the rusting cage.

Soon, we are sitting down among the dust and I swear, it is the most romantic place I have ever been. He holds me in his arms as we talk about tactics to rob a bank. He tells me the silly disguises he would wear and the silly things he would say. I tell him that it wouldn't work and would fail miserably.  
But he just responds with, "Gallagher Girl, it would work."

"You were once a Gallagher Girl." I laugh, resting my head on his chest.

"Gallagher girl?! It's okay, I'm just the first male ever to attend school here, that's all." He sighs, smirking.

"You will go down in history. The book of a shame." I laugh again. "This is nice. We've never done this before."

Suddenly, I get nervous. The giggly girl from before has disappeared and replaced with a girl who needs desperate help with boys. I haven't done this before with him. Laughing and talking while he holds me. Like a normal couple of people. Like the way you see it in movies where they're all happy and they don't have to worry about the enemies behind their back all the time. The enemies who duck when you look behind and swivel as you do a full turn.

"When is there a time to do it?" He whispers, his breath hot on my neck and sending slow shivers down my spine. I interpret this wrong as I think he actually means to...do it. He kisses my cheek and hold me snugger to his chest. I jolt upright and my first instinct is to flee. I refrain myself from doing so and force myself to stay awhile longer. I am tense all over and this is so bad. He's going to know. He's going to know.

"Zach..." I start. "Uhmm..."

"Yes...?" He asks. He doesn't get it. How is the message not registered yet? My body language, my tone and sudden change is all here as signs. Why can't he get it so I don't have to say it out loud?! I bite my lip and sideways glance at him.

"Zach, I think that we should..." I want to finish and tell him to wait. But my face is burning and I swear if my chest was against his, he'd feel my heart beat.

"We could do it anytime, Cam." He says. His voice is like velvet, coating his words in the smooth texture. His voice is suddenly deeper, rumbling and rich. It's bizarre. Suddenly my magenta running shorts are too small and I pull them down, a desperate try to stretch the fabric.

"I have to go, I'll see you later." I say abruptly as he puts his hand in mine. I get up from the cement and practically zoom my way out of the passage. Literally leaving dust in my trail.

"No! Cammie, I didn't mean it-" he starts. But I'm already gone, leaving in silence and a quiet treck as the shadows enter my mind trying to corrupt my vision of everything. I'm out of the passage way and as quickly as I can, I try to get to my room. The gleaming marble floors and wonderful morning sun fill the mansion in beauty but all I can focus on is the redness in my cheeks. I feel humiliation stirring inside and I cringe at the memory. I feel so stupid. Maybe I should go back and explain. I remember the way I ran away and the fact that I thought he meant he actually wanted to have sex. It makes me feel embarrassed all over again as I think of myself trying to explain. What if he doesn't even want me?

"GAH!" I exclaim, passing girls who give me curios looks. I bet they're trying to figure out my latest drama in all things spy and boy like. Scandalous you might say. I finally reach my dorm room and rush in, quickly closing the door behind me. Bex, Liz and Macey perk up, their faces lit in excitement.

"Tell us everything!" Liz squeals, jumping up from her bed and dragging me to Macey's.

"Did you make some nuns look away in shame?" Bex nudges me with her elbow as she sits next to me, obviously joking because she laughs. And we have no nuns here in Gallagher. I groan and pull my legs up to my chest.

"Cam! Speak!" Macey says, hitting my leg.

"I feel so stupid!" I start. "Zach and I were in the tunnel, you know, the one I used to sneak out I to see Josh-"

"You brought him there?" Bex says, her eyebrows knit in question and her voice in disbelief.

"No, I found him there. But that's not the point-"

"Why did he go there?" Bex asks again, pondering a tiny detail that doesn't really matter.

"Maybe he didn't want the nuns to see the two of them!" Macey fakes astonishment.

"Oh! I bet that's the reason!" Liz giggles.

"Shut up if you want to hear the story!" I say. I take a deep breath and continue. "Zach and I were in the tunnel and we started talking. It was really nice because we've never done something so normal before. I said this and he told me we could do it at anytime." I picture myself running away again and I groan.

"So..." Bex urges.

"I thought he meant to...do it." I say. I emphasize the last part and give them a pointed look. They don't need this to catch on because they're already laughing. They throw their heads back and laugh at my expense. Any other time this would be fine, but not now. Not when I'm spinning with embarrassment. I groan again and move to my own bed. I flop down on the cool, soft blanket and let the comfort try to cool me down.

"Anyway," I start as they stop laughing. "I ran away after that and he called after me. He said he didn't mean it like that." They move over to my bed and say sorry. I close my eyes and hide my face with my hands, trying to forget.

"How was the rest if your morning?" I ask.

"Meh," responds Macey. "I just sat here waiting for you guys to come up, while you canoodled your boyfriends."

"Canoodled?" I laugh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Jonas is not my boyfriend." Liz says, her cheeks flushing a bit.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Grant is mine. Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised. But he asked me if I wanted to meet him tonight." Bex says, beaming. I sit up and give them some more room to sit. We talk about the boys and just as we get on the topic of Josh, a knock sounds at the door. I look at my roommates and it's clear, I have to get it. I roll my eyes and jump off my bed. I open the door, praying that it's not Zach. I can't help but to breathe a sigh of relief as Joe stands at the door. He has his hands behind his back and standing all professional like.

"Good Morning, Ms. Morgan." He says. "Girls." His nods to my friends.

"Good Morning J-Mr. Solomon." I say, quickly correcting myself. "What is it?"

"Sorry to ruin your wondrous teenage Saturday night plans, but we are taking a little field trip tonight. So be ready outside at exactly 4:45pm." He smiles.

"Why so short notice?" I ask, even though I was planning to steal and eat buckets if ice cream from the kitchen tonight while watching Harry Potter.

"Spies Ms. Morgan. Spies. 6 hours and 45 minutes should be enough time." With that he goes off and I close the door. I look at my roommates and shrug.

"Why does he always have to sound so ominous?" Macey says, flipping back on her bed.

"Spies Ms. McHenry. Spies." Bex says, mocking his tone and widening his eyes. I laugh at how utterly ridiculous she looks. For the rest if the day, Bex and Liz hang out with Jonas and Grant. While Macey and I do our C.O.W's homework. It's rather tiring and I give up later on. So instead, we listen to music and I pray Zach doesn't stop by. Or Josh. I suddenly wonder where he but I don't voice this out loud. Instead, Macey and I talk about other stuff and enjoy our time. I try to steer clear of my boy drama and try to get her talking about hers. But she's reluctant and refuses to utter a word. When 12:00 rolls around and nothing has happened yet, not even a visit from Mom and thankfully-Zach.

"I'm going to try to find my mom." I say, deciding. Macey yawns and coats the last nail in mint green nail polish on my hand and nods.

"Alright," she stretches. "I'm going to sleep. Stupid Welcoming Breakfast interfered with my sleep."

As I watch her turn off the air conditioner and climb into a cool bed, the vents go silent. They no longer blow soothing, cool air into the room and I wish I could also go to sleep. Within minutes she's sleeping and I go to my dresser. It's about time I change from my running clothes, despite how comfortable they are. I shed the navy blue t-shirt and magenta shorts for something less athletic. I change into a comfy, grey, pullover hoodie and simple black pants. I slip on my tennis shoes and all the while, still manage not to mess up my nails. My undo my hair, but decide to put it back up because of the bump around my head. _Pony tail hair, almost as bad as hat hair._ I think, reminded of the time Macey said something like this to me before. I leave the room and Macey, who snores softly in her wonderful sleep. I walk to Mom's office first, vaguely wondering where Bex and Liz are.

I am about to knock on the door when I hear a chorus of angry, yet hushed voices. "No! We do not know for sure and based on previous experience-"

"Oh, Patricia! How are we to fully know unless we try? What are we to loose-"

Apparently, Mom doesn't like what this particular person has to say. "We have everything to lose! I have a daughter, I have a school of young girls to lose!"

I put my ear closer to the door and hope nobody comes this way. I think of the passage behind the painting in Mom's office. But I quickly dismiss it, the last time I was there; I overheard people calling me untrustworthy. The thought upsets me briefly until I remember Zach. The way he kissed me. I shake my head and convince myself that if I go, I'll miss stuff. Important stuff.

"Yes I know! They are going to be in danger if we let them out of the school though! Are you telling me that you are willing to let them out when he is out, but not try to look-"

"These girl and boys need to be trained. We can't lock them up and hope they'll do fine in the real world without doing our job." I immediately know that this is Joe, his smooth transition of _girls and boys_ tells me so. He sounds angry in his hushed tone and I wish they'd speak up. Or at least speak up in a different language if secrecy is so important. Not that it would make a difference.

"Yes, he is saying that. What I believe he is trying to say is that how can we take the risk of letting these girls _and boys_ out but not to try this." Aunt Abby says, closer to the door. I am closer to the wall now, in the space between the bench and the wall. My ear is pressed right up against the wood and I can hear them a lot better now. I control my beating heart by breathing steadily and being half concealed.

"I think that we should-" Mom's voice is too quiet to hear. Way more quiet than it had been originally. I strain to hear her, to hear the rest of her words. But I can't. They speak too quietly for me to hear and I begin to get frustrated.

"Samuel Lyle is dangerous. The Circle has not survived this long-" their voices become muffled and I have to strain to hear. I inch closer and closer, smushing my ear. "But we cannot keep hiding. They need-" out again. I cringe and wish I had time to run into the passage and listen, highly regretting my previous decision. But out of the feeling in my stomach, I take off my tennis shoes and inch away from the door. My footsteps are quiet without the tiny squeak of them and I spin around on the balls of my feet and run. I quickly dive into cover by a large doorway leading to a classroom just as the door to Mom's office opens. It is silent as I press myself against the wall and pray that they don't know where I am. I think of all the possible outcomes and the reflective surfaces they could use. I think of the possibility of my finding and the obvious and entrapping place of my spot by the door. But the office door slowly shuts just as people come around the corner. I quickly throw on my shoes and melt. I melt into a casual leaning position and pretend to not be doing anything. They pass by with a glance of recognition and when they're gone, I leave.

Words and snippets of the words they have said float around in my head. I have so many questions, so many questions that will hang midair and not to be answered. Questions like these cannot be simply asked. They have to be found. They have to be dug up and pulled, forcefully, out. That's how it works. That is the only way I might be able to get rid of this burning fear twisting me inside. I am about to make my way back up to the room, but instead, I find myself going in a different direction entirely. I don't know where I'm going. I just keep walking around the school, inside and out. A walk around the track, a girls running past me. I hear one snicker, but I don't really care_. I am by myself, walking around the track. Yes, get over it. _I think, vaguely. _More interesting stuff has happened before._ My eyes flick to her the next time she comes around, my eyebrows knitted. She looks down immediately and I can tell she's a sophomore. I wonder if she's afraid of me. I see a group of boys practicing fighting off to the side of the track and know right away that the girls are trying to get their attention. I sigh, momentarily forgetting about my eavesdropping. I remember the first time Blackthorne came here. The time I got shown up by Zach. Simple days. Or, simpler says I should say, remembering the panic of thinking Dr. Steve was evil and tried stealing the alumni disk. Yet of course, he was evil, even as we uncovered that the plan was just a test.

I am nearing the end of my lap and the sun starts to fall lower to the sky from its highest point. An hour goes fast. And as another hour ticks by slowly, I see Josh. And Zach. And Grant. They are group of boys along with newer ones too, now joined by Mr. McGraw. I know the moment that I see him, the meeting must be over. My stomach lurches and all too late I think of leaving right away. To flee to my room and hide from Mr. McGraw's coincidental face, with his jaw line, his hair and his smile. His smile that stretches wide over his face and displays a row of perfect teeth. But it's not just this. It's not the smile my dad made in my clear memories; it's not his picture smile or the smile that gradually comes in after a laugh. No, it's his eyes. His eyes that are swift and always changing. It's the pictures, the journal, the letter all coming back to me. It's the history that he has shared with people. It's the Circle of Cavan grasping at my throat, but still forcing me to smile as he waves at me.

"Ms. Morgan!" He calls. I force myself to smile as I make my way towards him and the boys. I see Zach look at me, as well as everybody else. Embarrassment flares up inside me and I hope I'm not blushing. I approach the boys as Mr. McGraw gives me a warm-and horrible (for me)-smile. I try not to look directly in his eyes as he reaches out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Morgan. I'm Andy McGraw and I teach the boys at Blackthorne." He says, like as if I didn't already know this. I smile politely and shake his outstretched hand. His hands are big, calloused and firm. His voice, thank goodness, sounds nothing like my father. It's a bit deeper and rumbles. But instead of coming off as awfully scary, he comes off as strong and confident. It just got worse. I force myself to forget about it and try to see that this man does not look like my dad.

"Hello, I'm Cammie." I say.

"Yes, I know. The famous Cameron Morgan. Oh, I've heard a lot about you." I think back to the time Zach had called me famous before also. Then I wonder, with fear, how many people know who I am. This is bad. People are not supposed to know me, they are not supposed to see me, they are not supposed to realize that I can follow them down an empty street for hours.

"In what way?" I ask, suddenly annoyed at how I am a topic on everybody's lips. Like I am spread around till my semester has fallen and popped. Maybe it was never really up anyway.

"Oh, don't worry about your spy status. You'll still be the second best pavement artist even when everybody in the whole world knows your face." He smiles, reading me. I don't know what it is about this man, but he makes me feel angry. Like he's stolen my dad's face. _C'mon Cammie, he's not your dad. He will never amount up to him_. I think.

"Who's the first?" I ask, but it appears that he hasn't heard me after that.

"Have you met some of my students?" He asks, turning around. I take a few steps and greet the new and old faces. I already know from first glance back on the track, there are 8 of them. I recognize and know four but the other four are new.

"Gone for another run, Cam?" Josh grins.

I roll my eyes and say, "I was not running, for your information."

"Hey Cammie." Zach smiles, his arm resting on the shoulder of Grant. There's a shyness to his eyes, but he still smirks, obviously not at me of course. To Josh.

"I know Zach, Grant, Josh and...him." I say, pointing to the boy that looks familiar from last time. He says his name is Darren and Mr. McGraw introduces the newer guys who probably couldn't come to the last exchange as Tom, Matthew, Daniel and Rupert. They all smile kindly until Mr. McGraw add in at the end, "Beware boys." Then their smile turn dangerously...well cocky. _Boys._ I think. Maybe they're trying to show that they aren't intimidated by me. But his comment only makes me feel a hot anger that I force back down again. He doesn't know me well enough. He dares utter these words.

"Actually-" I start, wanting to set things straight,

"We were just showing Josh the basics before you guys go out this evening. Kid's really good at remembering things and can throw a decent punch." He interrupts. I look over to Josh, surprised.

"Wait, he's coming with us tonight? But he hasn't gone through enough training to be in Cove-Ops Sublevel-"

"Your mom said that I should come along to see how things work. Or course this will be my last one until I get you know...the basic training and such." Josh says, smoothly. "But don't worry, I should be joining you and your class soon enough." He points to his head. I am astonished and I let my mouth hang open a bit. I gape at him and open and close my mouth like a fish. I regain my composure, since Tom and Daniel are looking at me like I am unprofessional.

"Well, that should be...good." I manage to choke out. "Well it was nice meeting you, but I have to go. I'll let you go back to your..." I trail off, gesturing to their group.

"Goodbye Ms. Morgan, see you in a couple hours." Mr. McGraw says, facing back to the boys and already giving them instructions. _Jerk._ I think as I walk away, not before briefly looking at Zach and Josh, mentally saying goodbye. I reach the track's sand when I hear behind me, "Cammie!" I turn around and Josh is jogging towards me. I already knew from the voice that it was Josh. I feel a bit disappointed but at the same time, I am relieved I don't have to deal with Zach right now. Not here with the girls passing by and the boys secretly glancing this way. I wait for him.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you, will you meet me later on?" He asks. I want to desperately say no. But I look into his blue eyes and I can't. They reflect the blue, 1:00 sky. It's 1:00 and my day has already been eventful. Since six this morning, I have been up and already moving. It's been a rather stressful day. A long one at that. With the hours going by so fast but at the same time, dragging on. New information received, new people, new things spoken, Josh and Mr. McGraw. They all cram into these hours and Mr. McGraw is already settling in, squeezing and pushing things out of the way. I am so exhausted already, I nod yes. What would it hurt? Who would it hurt?

"Come by my room before we leave." I say, as he lights up. I give him directions to get there and we split. I glance briefly at Zach and hope that he doesn't hurt Josh too much. Once I get back to the room, Macey is still sleeping. Bex and Liz are back, doing their own thing.

"Wow, Cam! You look like crap, are you okay?" Bex asks, setting down her, "Art of War" book. She's trying to soak up as much information as she can this year. I shake my head, feeling weighed down.

"Can we talk about this later? I'm tired and would really like to sleep." I yawn. _I have a lot to tell you guys._ I think, but don't say this. It will make Bex impatient.

"Yeah...sure." She says, eyeing me carefully. I plop down into bed and cover myself with my blanket, the air conditioner humming again. I barely remember to take off my shoes as my eyelids get heavy and they drop down till I fall asleep. I am whisked away from this eventful day, from Josh and his arrival. His quick settle in and the fact that he's adjusting in. It makes me nervous for reasons I don't understand. I forget about Mr. McGraw and the fact that he looks like my dad. From Zach and the words spoken in my mom's office today. Too many things. Too many things. Too many things.

I dream I am sitting outside in a small cafe with a light blue cup on the round table. It's steaming and there's wind. But all I do is sit here and talk to the person across from me. Their face is blurry and I can't make them out. Or the sound of their voice. All I can tell is that I enjoy this. I enjoy sitting here and speaking normally to this person. It's a hazy dream...like blurred edges of a milky white film overlaying my eyes. There's a nice song playing in my head.

"_Deep in the forest under the yellow lit sky,_

_Lies a girl who hums a sweet lullaby,_

_She has hair of the sun,_

_Eyes of the earth and can hide from anyone,"_

It's a deep, smooth voice and I can't quiet pick up the words. But it makes this world sway as I continue speaking with this person.

"_She hums her lullaby as her eyes softly close,_

_Oh, I will protect you against the shadows-"_

"Cammie!" A voice says. "Cammie! Josh is here!"

I open my eyes and take a deep breath. I am lying in my bed and the singing voice is gone. As Liz comes into view, excited, I begin to lose bits of my dreams. They crumble away and I forget some details.

"Cammie! Josh is waiting for you at the door!" She says. I slowly get up and stumble to the door, still a bit tired. Before I open the door I take a quick look at the alarm clock. 4:00pm. I open the door and Josh is standing there, a small smile on his lips.

"Hi," I say. I step out of the room, closing the door behind me. "How are you?"

"Hey, I'm good. I just wanted to talk to you. Do you have time to...I don't know. Go for a quick walk?" He asks, unsure. I nod my head and we begin our way down the hall.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I ask.

"I just...need somebody familiar. You know, this is honestly, scary. I...I'm here at this new school so fast. I was home...I was going to go to college. Now my whole life has changed. I just need someone to...be here." He gets a faraway look in his eyes. I admire this thoughtful look and find myself staring. He shakes his head, wiping the look from his eyes.

"Do you regret it?" I whisper.

"No, funny thing is, I'm kind of glad. But, this morning when I went to see my mom...my family, they were surprised. My sister was sad. So was my mom. But they told my family that I would be setting myself up in life. I couldn't help feeling...happy as I packed my bags." He whispers, playing with his hands. It suddenly hits me that he has also had a long day as well. It makes me feel better about my day.

"Are you scared for...the life we have here?" I ask. I immediately regret the "_we"_ in the sentence and I look away, cringing as I do. Thankfully, he doesn't pick up on it. Or at least, he doesn't say anything about it.

"Sort of. But Mr. McGraw and you mom were saying that I have potential here. Mr. Solomon and your Aunt have been helping me settle in really well." He says.

"So, you're officially moved in?" I ask him, pausing at a railing.

"Yeah. I am...I'll be leaving to Blackthorne with them." He whispers. I gasp slightly. He looks at me and smiles.

"So, what did you really want to talk to me about? I'm glad to hear about your move in and all, but..." I trail off, turning to him. Part of me, seeing him around here in my school, makes me feel self-conscious. I feel like I should be flinging myself at him and trying to hide everything in sight. I want to protect the school. But at the same time, I think it's kind of cool. Years of seeing these same walls and there's finally something totally different. My mind flashes to Dr. Steve and Rome for just a second until I push it away...again. For the hundredth time in its existence.

"Cammie...what happened since I last saw you?" His face is serious, all traces of the smiles gone and the lightness from his blue eyes. This question...this question is coated in bees. They all swarm, hovering over me and I want to hide. I want to hide from Josh and to not answer this terrible question. But what's the point? Josh will see me. The bees will follow. It's silent for a moment as I look into his blue eyes, incusing and free from watchful caution.

"A lot, Josh. A lot." I say, looking away.

"How bad?" he whispers, tucking a strand of wild hair behind my hair. For the first time since Dr. Steve left and I was left with no memory, I want to cry. Tears burn in my eyes and I want to damn his sincerity. I take a deep breath, and let one tear stream down my face before quickly drying it.

"It follows me everywhere. Sometimes I can't sleep. But I keep telling myself that if I forget about it, it will go away. There's days and times where I do forget. Just for a little while. But they always come back...like night. Nothing will stop it." My voice cracks and I clear my throat, demanding my tears stay back. I must not be weak.

"Running from it won't help, Cammie." He moves closer to me. "Take it from me, Jimmy." I laugh, blinking so that my tears dry. But there's still that feeling in my throat and the Circle has got me again, I don't trust myself to speak.

"Do you want to talk about it? I want to know why...why you..." He trails off, putting his hand just above my elbow.

"No," I shake my head. "Maybe later." I think that this is really unlikely, but I don't say so. I glance at him and his eyes pierce me. They're full of non-judged concern. It's not the cautious look some people give me. No, his eyes are soft and see every bit of me. Suddenly, I see Zach in my head. I move so that Josh's hand falls from my arm. I haven't done anything. _Oh, but yes you have._

"I should go get ready." I say, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, me too. Long day and we're still going out, huh?" He smiles, a lopsided smile, but then it falters. He clears his throat. "Cammie..." His voice is so soft, I almost lean in closer.

"Let's go," I say abruptly. "We have to be there right on time or Mr. Solomon will be pissed."

"Yeah..."

He walks me back to my room, getting a few curious glances from the people walking by. I stop at the door and turn toward him. I immediately wish I hadn't because this is what girls do in the movies when they want a kiss from their date.

"You know, you look really cute with your hair messy." He teases, pointing to my hair. I quickly go to my head and realize that my hair is sticking up in all angles and my pony tail is loose.

"Josh! Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, pulling up my hood and pulling the draw strings.

"Because, I liked it." He laughs.

"See you later." I say, sighing. I open the door as he says goodbye and I close it.

"Whew! Good, someone told you about your hair!" Macey says, smiling. She is all ready, her hair is not the mess it was when I left but she has no trace of makeup. As usual, and she is still stunning.

"You guys didn't tell me either!" I say, grabbing a pillow and throwing at the one closest to me. Who happens to be Liz.

"Ouch!" She says. "Not my fault."

I quickly get ready. I can't help but to drag that feeling around. I had almost told Josh everything. I almost let him into my world. I can't though. He can't be in _my_ world. Not the way I watch women dive off cliffs into the water for a paper, or the way I mysteriously disappear. I can't let him come into my world of missing things...memories and lurking enemies. I look at my friends, getting ready to go out and excited. I wanted to briefly discuss Samuel Lyle and the things I overheard. But the way they smile as they comb my hair makes me not want to dump this on them. So I leave it for another time. Later.

* * *

_**A/N: WOOH! Long time since I updated. Sorry, I've been so busy lately. With school. -.- Stupid freshman year wearing me out. Anyways, I hope this made up for the long wait. I'm going back to school on Monday because March Break is over :( I'll be more productive. Promise! Kay, hope you liked this chapter. And let me know what you think of alternating POV. With who? Anyone pick up on Tom, Daniel, Matthew and Rupert? ;)**_


	4. Change Blindness

_**Divine like the Wolves- Chapter 4**_

_**Change Blindness**_

_**Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns Gallagher Girls**_

"Change Blindness. Define it Ms. Baxter." Joe says, his hands behind his back with Aunt Abby and Mr. McGraw behind him. They stand in front of two vans, black with tinted windows.

"The inability for the human brain to detect changes all at once and therefore miss half of the world's changes." She says, not skipping a beat, as if challenging Joe. Or maybe she's trying to show the boys...again, that's she's not just a girl. I guess it's the new people out of the 16 of us. 5 new guys if you count Josh, which I do. Technically, even though we spent nights analyzing him and went through his garbage, she doesn't really know him. And he doesn't know really what Bex is capable of.

"Perfect. Unintentional blindness is caused when, Mr. Feltcliffe?" He says, addressing Tom, who I met earlier before.

"When a part of the brain does not process stimuli and therefore misses many changes." He says. We learned about this back when we were younger. The brains anatomy and how it works. We learned about visual processing and visual memory, from where things such as reading, personality and hearing lie in the brain. Personality lies in the front of the brain, with the conscious by the way. I wonder why we are reviewing this here and not in the classroom. I look down at my clothes and pride myself at wrestling Macey off me when she tried to dress me saying, "It's for Zach!" I wear dark wash jeans that allow full movement and a coral pull over sweater. The front pocket is designed by me to hide and allow easy access for myself of weapons...or anything of that sort. I have modified most of my clothing for this purpose. Bex said I scared her as I stayed up most the night with a sewing needle and Mr. Fibb's super strong thread. My sweater is reversible to turn to black if I ever needed fast hiding; colours for easy blending in night and day. Even though the temperature is still a bit high, it gets cold at night and I have a feeling I should be prepared. Unlike Eva Alvarez who insisted on wearing a ruffled cami because apparently, "This is the best way to squeeze information out of a male."

"The reason why we review this is because we can use the brain's natural weaknesses to deceive people, to trick them. Like magicians. We are here to train you to see, to see the sudden changes in the world, to be aware of all the changes in the world." He says, looking at all of our faces as if he is daring us to laugh at the fact that we already know this.

"You were taught how to notice things and to memorize. But this year starting today, we will teach you how to deceive your enemies and how to see the changes that most of us miss because we are humans." Aunt Abby says. I'm not sure if it is just me, but everything sounds like we're being briefed for a murder. I cross my arms as Zach makes his way to me. He stands right by me, the farthest from Aunt Abby. Even though Zach has protected me throughout the nightmares, she still cautiously watches him. Anyone could feel intimidated by Aunt Abby if you were normal...unless you were my mom and Joe. She dresses casually to match Joe. Even though she's dressed in all black except for her jacket, she looks like she's just going for a stroll. Her dark hair is wavy and makes her flawless, beautiful porcelain skin stand out and frames her green eyes. Aunt Abby is beautiful. Stunning. Just like Mom. Joe is dressed in black cargo pants and a navy blue sweater. Simple, but I swear Eva and Tina nearly died. His pants are tucked into black boots and if they were a bit more girly, I would wear them. Not on a mission of course.

"This is exciting, isn't it?" Josh says, suddenly beside me. I don't jump though; I try to listen to Joe talk about the brain and how no matter what, we all miss things...even the greatest spies.

"Yeah, sure," I whisper back.

"I remember learning this in school. Our brain must prioritize changes in the world that is most important to us. To manipulate a mind, you must first figure out how it works." He whispers back. Finally, after Joe, Aunt Abby and Mr. McGraw quickly run this over using multiple questions, they tell us that we need a partner. Almost instantly, I am mentally grabbed onto like a lifeline. Josh and Zach move a bit closer while Bex and Macey dart their eyes over to me. I don't want to sound conceded or vain in anyway though. But as soon Bex and Macey see that Josh and Zach have claimed me as their partner, they back off, taking their gaze off of me. I give them a short glare and wish that Bex or Macey would come take me away so I wouldn't have to choose. You can imagine my relief when Joe said that he chose the partnership. I breathe a quiet sigh of relief as Josh steps a little farther away and the tension seeps away. But gradually, Zach moves his hand from my elbow and takes a hold of my hand. A shiver goes down my spine as I feel his fingertips slide down my arm, my sleeves pushed up and revealing my skin. He laces his fingers through mine and gives me a gently squeeze. The tension still in my body seeps out of my muscles and I relax. Zach is here. Zach is mine. I move closer to him till my shoulder is touching is arm, since he's taller than me.

"Macey and Re-" Mr. McGraw starts, off of memory.

"Bex!" Joe quickly says, cutting him off. Mr. McGraw gives him a short look and starts again.

"Macey and _Bex_. Tina and Daniel. Mick and Tom. Eva and Matthew. Grant and Zach," My heart falls and just for a second, my grip on Zach loosens. What else did I expect? "Cameron and Josh." Josh looks at me, giving me a magazine cover smile but then quickly looks away. I frown and look up at Zach, who is suddenly paying close attention to Mr. McGraw. I hit his hip with the back of my hand because that is how our hands are intertwined, he looks down at me. His dart eyes up in question, but his smirk suggests that he is not all innocent. I forget the chastising I was going to do because I know what he did. But then I melt like butter in the asphalt covered Earth.

I unwillingly pry my eyes away and listen as he continues. "Courtney and Anna. Finally, Austin and Lucy."

We all file into the vans. There are 19 of us in total and the vans only seat 8 comfortably. So my van got two extra people in ours while the other got one. We were kind of crammed with four people in a seat made for three. The teachers wanted everybody to stick with their partners so that it's much easier for the instructions. To avoid awkwardness, I squished myself in between a supposed to be junior girl named Lucy and Bex who sits beside Macey at then end. Austin, Zach, Grant and Josh sat at the back. It wasn't like a sex thing where girls go here and boys go there. Bex and Macey helped me avoid Josh and Zach while Lucy was already seated. I breathe a small sigh of relief as we slowly pull out of the driveway. For some reason, as we pull out of the gates, I feel a small sensation of panic. _Samuel Lyle_. His name sounds smooth and slick. Like a predator with prowling feet, large teeth and a quiet trek. Making the night life fall silent in its eerie presence. I look at Joe driving, Aunt Abby in the passenger seat and my best friends. I don't look, but I think of Zach. We'll protect each other. I won't let anyone get hurt to save me. I won't. The trees zoom by and I recall the awful feeling I had when people risked their lives for me. Maybe it wasn't fully for me. But it still didn't feel good knowing that their lives could have easily been taken like something small in a gust of wind. Gone down without much of a fight. That's not how we're supposed to die. We're supposed to give it our all in our lives, we're either supposed to go down fighting for die peacefully old. That's the way it's supposed to be. I guess after you spend your whole life dedicated for perfecting this art of spying, you want to spend the rest making a difference and trying to do good. For years I have done this, and I plan to keep doing this till I retire. Or go down with my weapon or fists drawn up. After everything that has happened in these short years, I won't be simply beaten, blown over and forgotten-

"So, you're Lucy?" Josh says from behind. Lucy, right beside me turns around. I am brought back down to reality, and listen. I don't look, but I still pretend that I am zoned out, even when the comfort of that state is long gone.

"Yes, and your Josh?" She says, confidently. Using my peripheral vision, I notice that Lucy has beautiful dark brown, wavy and long hair. From here I can tell her eyes are a brown colour and she is probably the same height I am. She is slender, with high cheekbones and perfect teeth. Despite the fact that I feel proud of myself for taking this all in quickly, I can't help but feel jealous. She's insanely gorgeous. Almost like Macey. Except where Macey is no effort, I can tell she has a bit of eyeliner on.

"Yeah, I was wondering if this is yours." Apparently, Josh had pulled something up. With my head still trained unnaturally forward, I watch as Lucy's face lights up and a smile spreads across her beautiful face.

"Yes! I lost it on the track this morning!" She reaches her hand back and pulls up a thin gold bracelet. She puts it around her wrist.

"I saw it lying in the sand after it fell. I later went to go look for it. It has your name on it," He leans forward, touching her hand and turning it over. He flips over a small, oval and gold tag type thing and I can tell her name is engraved. With my head slightly turned, and my eye picking up the elegant name, I know that everybody is also listening or watching.

"I was looking for a Lucy." He finishes, his hand sliding back down.

"Thank you." She says, letting her hair spill over her shoulder. I look slightly at Bex beside me and widen my eyes just a bit. She smiles with only one corner of her mouth pulling up, strikingly devious. I stay silent along with everybody else in the van, until Aunt Abby says something.

"You noticed a thin gold bracelet fall from a girl's wrist, Josh?" Aunt Abby asks, not even glancing behind her.

"Yes..." He answers.

"How far do you think you were?" She asks.

"Uhmm...I'd say probably about 10-12 meters." He says quietly.

"Huh. Good eye. I guess since your here, you need a code name." She says, looking around and giving a smile. I catch my breath. It all feels real now. The trees still zoom by, but we get closer and closer into town. Samuel Lyle. Samuel Lyle. A part of the circle. The part that can't survive without him. Josh. Josh who knows everything. This is too much. I wish I could stop the van to hurl outside. To bury myself and tell everybody to leave me. It's a weird thought, but it settles this plunging stomach of mine. It's all I can do not to become too overwhelmed with everything. I catch myself in the mirror. I look calm, organized...alright. My hair is nicely combed on my head, my eyebrows calmly in their place and my eyes emotionless. I look impassive and not like the tornados inside me. The tornado that has been there since I was in sixth grade. I calm down a bit, seeing myself.

"How about Falcon? You seem fast. You have good eyesight. It fits." She says. "Especially since you ran to Gallagher this morning." The whole van is still silent as Josh says yes. THIS MORNING?! It feels like an eternity has passed. Falcon. I say in my head over and over again. As we reach into town and pull over, I already like his code name. Falcons are the swiftest bird of prey, and hunt other birds during the day in flight. As the other van pulls up behind us, Joe turns around as Aunt Abby brings out the comms units.

"Now, today is a practice round. We've learned how to quickly swap a coin back and forth with a second of contact. Now today, there are about 20 something spies out there who have done this before. Find out who they are and get back your card that is placed in their wallet. Use _their _brain to do it. This should be easy. You all have a spy that you are looking for. One for each of you. Pay attention because you only get one look." He says. Aunt Abby gives each of us a folder, including Josh. I open mine as she talks.

"Do not get caught. If you get caught, you have failed and died. They will also be trying to find you. Find your spy as quickly as you can, before they find you. Mr. Solomon and I will be out there also keeping an eye out while Mr. McGraw will be waiting for each of you in a new place with the vans. Your card has your picture, your code name, and the location you are to go. Be there by 11:00 sharp."  
I read my file that has my name neatly printed on the top tab.

Target

Height: 5"3'  
Appearance: Long, red hair. Wearing a black jacket, sneakers and a ring on the left ring finger.  
Likes: Elephant ears, cotton candy, orange soda.

Cover  
Sadie Grand  
Age: 17_**  
**_  
That's it. That is all the information I have. I quickly memorize it and hand my file back. "Now, here are your comms unit, disguises, and I'll see you out there." Aunt Abby says. A couple minutes later, I step out into the sun, facing the big Ferris wheel.

"A fair?" I ask, with a short, brown wig in that just grazes my shoulders, green eyes and my comms unit in my ear. Bex, who insisted that she didn't need a wig, was forced into a straight, black wig with blue hues. It makes her look like an Egyptian queen, minus her accent. Macey who went with long blonde curls starts to speak in a southern accent. I laugh as Josh comes to my side.  
Everybody starts to head toward the Main Street with their partners. As I watch Bex and Macey get farther away, I get worried. Samuel Lyle, the wind seems to whisper.

"So, Jimmy." Zach says, as the van pulls away. We are walking towards the gates now, excitement building inside. He stretches out his arm, fully stopping Josh. Alarmed, I stop myself too, looking up at Zach as he turns to fully face Josh.

"Cammie can very well take care of herself. She's a strong spy. But if for some reason she gets hurt for protecting you because of your idiocy, then you better hope that no satellite, no man or no life form can find you. Because I will come after you. And I will make you get to your knees and beg for mercy. Then you can run to Lucy. Understand?" He says, just ever so slightly looking up at Josh, still being slightly shorter. Appalled at his words, I stand there gaping at their stone cold faces. For once, Josh has a look of murder on his face. Only when Grant whistles do I snap back.

"Excuse me?!" I push Zach forcefully away from Josh. "How dare you threaten him! I am nobody's responsibility. Last time I checked you are not my mom. You are not my dad!" I grab Josh's wrist and begin to walk away, seething. I look back and say, "I'll talk to you later."  
I leave Zach standing with Grant, hoping that he has regretted what he said. Nobody is going to take a bullet for me. Not Zach. Especially not _Zach_.

Josh and I walk through the gates in silence. It's 5:00 and the sun is still up. It won't go down for another 3-4 hours. As we hand over our money and get tickets for rides, Josh finally speaks.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I know by coming here that...I complicated things." He says. Since we got into the van, I finally take a good look at him. What Zach had said has left me embarrassed and I find it hard to look at him. He has a blonde wig on, brown contacts and he wears a black pull-over hoodie. I guess since mostly everybody knows who he is here, he needs more of a disguise. He wears all black and looks like the kind of person that would cause trouble. Someone like Zach. I shake my head, trying to push him out of my head for now. At least until I talk to him.

"No, it's not your fault. Things were complicated long time ago." I say.

"Chameleon, your name is not Cameron." Joe says over comms.

"Sadie." I whisper to Josh, leaning in slightly.

"Perry." He whispers back. Perry...cute.

"So, we have a few hours to kill. Want to go on that ride?" I asks, smiling as I point to the ride that takes you up, and drops you. The lights are starting to light up, sounds from everywhere are blaring loud and music plays from somewhere. People move everywhere, children pulling their parents and teenagers holding hands. An elderly couple sitting on a bench and sharing cotton candy. The ride I suggested is called, "Mega Drop." The sign lights up and the screams come from there.

"Don't you think we should find the people?" He asks, looking around.

"Falcon and Chameleon, I got eyes on a man looking suspicious and he's looking your way. Blend." Bex says over comms.

"Number one rule of blending in Perry, don't try." I whisper, wrapping my arm around his arm. I pull him towards the ride, becoming Sadie Grand. He smiles at me, pretending to be an enthusiastic boyfriend.

"Good Job, Chameleon, Falcon and Duchess." Aunt Abby says over comms, probably nearby. Even though I don't want to be holding onto Josh, I have to. He feels different from Zach. And I am immediately transported to nights in Roseville with Josh. Where Zach is more intense, Josh is more calm.

Blending in is easy if you know how to do it. There was a fight where I told Zach to back off. It would look weird if I didn't have some sort of relationship with Josh. The way he smiles down at me every now and then as we walk towards the rides give me guilty butterflies and I wonder if Zach is nearby. After Aunt Abby's praise, how am I to go back? If Aunt Abby thinks it's a good idea, it must. All I have to do is not be me. All I have to think of is the name over and over again in my file. Clear conscious equals better cover. We reach the end of the line and I see Bex and Macey. I hear Macey talking about Texas and cows. It's far-fetched but her southern accent is believable.

"No offence, Ally, but I really don't care." Bex laughs, dropping her accent. I don't look at them and pretend that I don't know them.

"Chica, where are you?" Someone says over comms.

"Over at the Ferris wheel." Eva answers.

"That's weird. Can they hear _everything_?" Josh asks. Suddenly, I wish I could melt. Yes, they can most of the time. How could I keep forgetting? I think back to Zach's threat as well as Josh's apology. My whole class-including Joe, Mr. McGraw and Aunt Abby-probably heard. This reminds me of the time they heard me say that I would go to Josh's dance at school, and I ended up in big trouble. _So much trouble _that I was blamed for a code black. Yep. Pretty bad.

"Yes," I sigh, trying to accept it. "Not all of the time though. Just when you need to connect through. Otherwise there would be tons of noise right now. Hopefully they didn't."

"We didn't Chameleon. " Macey says.

"Good." I say, moving forward in line. The sand crunches under my feet and we're starting to get closer. My nerves work up again and my stomach keeps twisting. I am still hanging onto Josh, pretending to be just another typical teenager.

"Duchess, a woman carrying a sleeping baby walked by your 9:00 five minutes ago. How tall was she?" Joe says over comms. There's a bit of hesitation before she says, "Five feet and five inches, _buddy_."

"Good. Falcon," he says. Josh gets tense but I give him a reassuring squeeze as I pretend to watch the ride go up again. "How many steps did you take since you got into line?"  
I feel like everybody is listening now, waiting to hear his answer. Josh is new, he might be friendly and make good jokes. But that's nothing compared to the spy status he has to make for himself. Being a good spy is everything. It will make you, and your place in the world. I once heard Aunt Abby say that I had already done it when I followed my father down the street without him knowing. I guess I have.

"15." He answers smoothly. I hold my breath because I don't know the answer. I wasn't paying attention.

"Correct." Joe says, a bit of a smile coming through his voice. The ride drops, sending a group of screaming teenagers down. We keep moving, until the fence closes on us, the "Enter" sign promising us that we will go on next.

"I should have backed out 25 steps ago." Josh says.

"Are you afraid, Perry?" I give my most convincing fake laugh and go an inch closer. Once I say Perry, his smile kind of falters. A women I saw two minutes ago looks straight at me before turning away, going to the washrooms. She impassively leaves and I hope she's not an agent. Oh well, only time will tell. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand on the way down, chicken."

"No, I just want to save you of losing your dignity, that's all." He says, puffing up his chest before letting out all the air. This is all just pretend. I am not Cameron Morgan, I am Sadie Grand. I am seventeen and my name is Sadie. I am just a regular girl on a date with her boyfriend named Perry. I am Sadie Grand.

"Ahh! Perry, don't worry. I'll keep your secret." I say, from the corner of my eye, I see his face fall a bit as I say his fake name again. Finally, moments later, after the gust of wind blows my fake hair as they come down, we start to walk up the stairs.

"Oh my goodness." I huff, making my way across the metal platform, finally detaching from Josh_._ We find seats around the circular ride and get up onto the purple seats. The sun keeps getting lower and lower. I see flashes of my classmates, but all I am focusing in is the women looking my direction for the third time. As the bars come down and strap us firmly to the seat, I want to puke. I am trapped. I am tethered like an animal and if someone chooses now to come after me, I'll be helpless. Nerves spark in every part of my body. I look over at Josh, hoping my wig is tightly put on. Then the women brings up her hand, smiles widely and waves. I swear, if the girl next to me hadn't raised her hand and waved back as we start to go up, I would have jumped into immediate action. I would have started planning a way to lose her, going on countless rides, changing my sweater and going all over the fair grounds, meeting up with random people, going in and out of the washrooms, ducking in and out of bushes on the sidelines. But I still don't let my guard down. We go higher, and higher, my stomach twisting as I anticipate the drop. I look over to Josh-I mean...Perry. He has a wild look in his brown contacts as his blonde hair gets in his face. I have to keep reminding myself as we spend 10 awful seconds suspended at the top of the tower that we are on a mission to blend in. Josh is Perry and I am Sadie. I'm doing nothing wrong. Or am I? Suddenly, just as I get air in my lungs, we drop. I let out whatever oxygen I was able to get into my lungs out and into a scream. About a quarter of the way, we slow down and there's a blast of air coming from under. Thank god my wig is still on. I quickly look over at Josh, smiling and excited.

"Still Perry," I say, the bars coming up and releasing us from the ride. I hop down as Josh laughs, "Still...you."

I stop on the platform for a second and look at him. I keep the casual smile on my face, after all, what is a spy who is not a great liar? Dead. That's what they are. _If you can't keep your emotions in control, then you must look like you can._ I recall aunt Abby saying this once. And if I can't help but to feel guilty for having fun with Josh and the fact that he always sees me, I will have to pretend I'm okay. I will have to look like him touching Lucy that way doesn't bother me, because I'm with Zach. And if Zach sacrifices so much for me then I shouldn't feel this way. But after all, who forgets their first love? Even if you loathe them to bits and pieces, they still have indented in your mind. And Josh was mine once too.

"Let's go." I say, heading for the exit of the ride. Even though I have to have fun, I am still on the lookout for red hair. And in the setting sun with the pinks, reds and oranges painting the sky and hair, it's hard to tell. A brown can look red. Highlights can be more noticeable.

"What should we do next?" I ask, looking back to _Perry._

"I think that we should do something so amazing," He starts. "And it is down that way!"

I look down where he is pointing and there is a stand with a large pizza on the side boards. I laugh, agreeing. Even though I really do love pizza, there is an elephant ears stand right next to it. We head over that way, desperately happy of the $20 in my bra that I decided last minute to bring. Uncomfortable, he slips his hand into mine. I close my fingers around his casually. But my heart speeds up.

I've never actually heard Zach's code name be used, so when Aunt Abby said, "Alpha, there was a young man standing by the garbage can. What brand was his shirt?"

I listen in carefully, waiting for the voice. I am surprised when Zach's voice registers through the comms unit. "Arepostale."

"Good." She says.

I look casually to my left, my right hand in Josh's. A women, with fiery red hair tied in a pony tail and a black jacket is not too far ahead. Having the desperate need to jump into action, I have to retain myself. This is either her or it could not be. I can't be reckless. I have to be patient. I have to blend and give my code name pride. I have to keep eyes.

"Chameleon," Mr. Solomon says. "There is a women with red hair in front of you. Is she married?"

As the crowd in front of her thickens and even we have to slow down, the shade of a large lemonade advertising. "_Freshly Squeeeeeeeezed lemonade!" _goes over us. By not directly looking at her, I zoom into her left hand. Although she does not have a ring on, I can also tell that she's not married. Either she would have a ring on, or there'd be a tan line. And there is not.

"No," I say kind of heavily, looking at Josh. "I kind of want a hotdog instead." My tone has changed at the last part, and if anyone were watching, I'm hoping they'd put me as less suspicious. But seriously, who says no in a random setting with no questions being asked?

"Great." He says. Pride will kill. So instead of feeling that amazing feeling in my heart, I try to suppress it. It's better than his usual _good._

"Alright then, I will get a pizza and you will get a hotdog." He says. I smile, continuing on. The women with fiery red hair turns into the place where they sell clothes. A huge, white tent with people desperately trying to get you to buy their $50 hats.

Truth is though, I hate hotdogs. I despise them. They're like demons made out of meat. Dressed in a white bun. But if my profile says anything about my having a weirdly odd obsession with pizza, it might make me more noticeable to her. So I go for a hotdog. Disgusted with them. I smile up at Josh as he looks down at me and I can't help but to feel butterflies in my stomach. We get into the long line at the Pizza stand type thing behind two tall guys.

My stomach drops and I hold my breath. Zach turns his head casually. I didn't even pay attention to any of my classmates as they walk by. For some reason, from behind he looks different. From behind, I can't tell who he is. That upsets me. But even though my hand is entwined with Josh's, I keep my face as casual and the same as possible. I don't let any recognition enter my face, my eyes are on his face for a second, and they are off the next. But he's the exact same. He doesn't even seem bothered with the fact that I'm holding Josh's hand. I guess it's because our whole lives we were trained to be who we aren't. Trained to be everyone but ourselves.

"Do you want a drink?" Josh asks, looking down at me. "While we're here."

"Yeah, I think I'll have..." I look up to the menu displayed right by the serving window. "Sprite."

"Sprite?" Josh asks. "I thought you hated Sprite?"

I look up, almost pulling my eyes up in question. Until I see his eyes widen a bit. It's true, I love Sprite. I think of the way my spies drink was on there, she probably has mine.

"True," I lie. "I was going to try it out but after you say it I think I'll just have root beer."

I try not to focus too hard on the back of Zach's head. I feel like if I look at him for too long, I'll either burn a hole right to his pretty eyes, or I'll attract his attention. So just stand there while the line slowly moves and Zach goes to make his order.

_Deluxe._ "A deluxe pizza-" He says. _And Coke._ "And a coke."

As he and Grant get their pizza, they leave. Zach doesn't look at me again, but rather he moves on. Of course I can't ask him to. There's a part of me that's still so angry at him.

After we get my awful meal and I choke down a hotdog, the sun is making it's way down still. Josh has already finished him pizza and drink as we watches me sip my root beer like a person who would like it. I don't know why I would get root beer. I could have gotton something like water, that would have been tons smart. But even though I like Josh's blue eyes better than the brown ones right now, I can't help but to feel something as he looks at me. I am completely crazy. Bat-shit crazy.

"I would love to go on more rides," Josh says as we walk. We aren't holding hands this time but we are walking very close. "But after eating that pool of grease I don't think I can go on right away."

"Me niehter," I say, feeling nauseated at the hot dog. "What do we do?"

"We could...go get ice cream," He suggests. "And go sit on those benches near the horse racing that's not happening."

I look at him. For once, I am not really scanning the crowd for the person I want. Or...need to find. I haven't seen her. And it's only six o'clock. I have five hours. I block out the blonde and brown, looking for Josh. He's asking me to go somewhere quiet with him.

"Please," he whispers. I haven't noticed that we have stopped completely and as children with balloons and teenagers laughing walk by I only look at Josh. He's like this really complex puzzle. With so many pieces that as you think you have finally started to make a picture, more random pieces appear from the box and you don't know where it goes.

"Sure," I say back. Even though my life is starting to get back into place and he can't even imagine what's going on, his must be too. He's not at home anymore, where he's been his entire life. And he just got immersed in a world he can't yet imagine how complex it is. How he could die right now just for knowing what he knows. He was normal yesterday. And now, he's a spy in training with people breathing down his neck. I don't even realize how great he is at taking this. He's on a _mission_ with me right now. And he's carrying a weight on his broad shoulders.

He buys me double chocolate ice cream and he gets the same thing, then we go down to the benches. Not many people are here and it makes me nervous. I guess he has been coming here for awhile now because he is navigating it with ease. We sit in silence for awhile, except for the people on comms. I remove the talking piece and I show him to d the same. I keep the one in my ear in, just in case.

"You okay?" I whisper, licking my ice cream.

He heaves a big sigh. "Better than I thought."

"You're doing pretty well." I point out, still licking my ice cream. Since no one is really around, I don't sit too close to him. I sit at a pretty acceptable distance.

"Yeah, well." He shrugs and smiles smally at me. "I wanted to ask _you_ something actually."

"What's that?"

He takes a lick of his ice cream before asking. "Are you okay?"

I frown, responding. "Of course I am."

"I know you look calm, _all the time._ But I can't shake the feeling that something's bothering you. You're eyes are always darting around and I can see part of your body tense."

I hold my breath. "Am I really that obvious?" I whisper harshly.

He looks taken aback, shrugging. "No, it's...it's like I said. You always look so calm, so collected. But every time you look very, very hard, you can see it."

"You're not supposed to see, Josh." I take a breath. "No one is supposed to tell."

"But I can."

I look at him for awhile, scanning his face slowly.

"See," he says. "I can't even tell what you're thinking."

What I'm thinking? What I'm thinking is how can he see so well? What's his secret? Why is he so good at seeing. Seeing my faults in the way I act. Because I am thinking of a bunch of different way to die at the hands of a cloaked man. A man who's face I cannot see but name I can hear ringing in my ears through the thick, wooden door. _Samuel Lyle._

"What I'm thinking is how _you_ are." I say, eating my ice cream, still trying to look for anyone suspicious, looking our way.

"How I'm doing doesn't matter. I have been waiting to leave my home for so long. And the fact that I'm here with you is good enough, Cammie. This isn't scary," He grabs as he says it, because someone is watching us.

"Yeah, but this _relationship_," I empathize. "Is difficult."

"Compared to what?" He whispers. "The F.B.I? The Government? Cammie, that's all it is. We're just younger than most couples."

"But there's factors that contribute to the differences of other couples. Like...age for one. And so many other people don't have the level that we do." I say, gesturing to the space in between us. Of course, we're not talking about relationships; we're talking about the Academy.

"But it's okay. I'm fine with it." He says. A couple more people leave and I rest my elbows on the next row of seats behind me.

"This mission seems oddly easy." He whispers. "Like...too easy."

I think of our first one in sophomore year, almost as easy as this one. I frown, nodding. I start to get a bad feeling. What are they planning? I look at Josh, his face also frowning.

"It is..." I say. I learned how to trick the mind long time ago, we all did. I'm not sure if this is a trial or what. But something is off. "Something's wrong."

I quickly put my mouth piece back in. Rather than using the clunky big comms this time, we went with a small chip that attaches to your tooth. They're much smaller and less of a chance to notice. He questions have stopped coming and all I can think of is that they're doing it again.

"Duchess?" I say. "You in? Out."

We have to start saying out because if we don't, we'll have too much people wanting to get through. Since we're not answering questions, it's harder to all stay quiet. I wait agonizingly. "Of course I am Chameleon. Out."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Is something going on? Out."

"Peacock in, we were just wondering that too," Macy. "The questions have stopped."

"We've done this before. Can you say you're code name if you're in?" I say.

"Duchess." Bex.

"Peacock." Macey.

"Falcon." Josh.

"Chameleon." Me.

"Chicca." Eva.

"Echo." Anna.

"Chicago." One of the boys.

"Red Dragon." Another one of the boys.

"Athena." I recognize Lucy's sickly sweet voice.

It goes on until everyone is named. I wait, my heart beating hard in my chest. No one speaks, all waiting for two names to be said. I look at Josh, and get up. Even though we are walking at a regular speed, I want to desperately run. Soon, we are among the crowd again. Not hearing from the teachers on missions is not something unusual. But not hearing from one of our own is when it gets scary.

"Alpha?" I whisper into my comms. "What's his partners name? Out."

My breathing is too off, I keep trying to get it on track. But if I have to start running, and turning the faces of every damn boy here, I will.

"Knight, you in?" Grant's code name.

There's nothing. Josh is right beside me, holding my hand and helping me weave through the crowd.

"Chameleon, they probably already finished their objective. Out." Macey says. Something tells me that that is not true. The sun it still up, why would Zach finish so early? He wouldn't...would he? There's so much people here, they're always moving. Always changing. We're not to meet till-

"Alpha in with Knight, what's going on?" I breathe a sigh of relief. And if about 18 other people weren't listening, I'd start babbling away to Zach. My heart eases at the sound of his deep voice. I want to ask where he is, but I have to restrain myself. I have to use my teeth to keep the words I want to say in.

"Agent Cameron and Solomon have gone dark. Out." I respond, as calm as I can manage.

"Has anyone had eyes? Out." He asks back.

"I saw them about an hour ago, but they were still shooting questions. Out." Josh says suddenly. I look up at him surprised.

"Anyone else? Out." Uh-oh. I can tell Zach is aggravated.

"No eyes," The respond. I take a breath.

"We're on our own," I say. "Commander has gone dark. Proceed with objectives and meet at designated places an times. Out."

"I think we should find out what's going on. Out." A boy says. Even though a part of me feels bad about it, I refuse.

"No," I say. "We have a mission to do, we have to stick to it. If anything suspicious goes on report immediately. Be careful and we'll meet when we have too. Out."

"Affirmative, Chameleon. Watch out for each other and stay away from any type of shooting games. Be incognito, commander has gone dark. Out." Zach says back.

I look at Josh who's looking at me. He's looking at my face, searching. But when I open my mouth to ask what, he just smiles smally and shakes his head. Josh and I continue to go about, doing activities and games. We eat cotton candy, more on the lookout than ever.

"No tails so far. Out." Someone says.

"Remember the three strikes. Out." I say, eating some cotton candy. After that, no one says anything. Knowing they'd report if something went wrong, I don't worry. We have to trick our agent into giving us their wallet, but that means finding them first.

"Perry," I start. "Who was on your file?"

I look at him and he looks at me. "You."

My eyes widen and I am immediately curious. "What do you mean, _you_?"

"I mean...you. I was just supposed to watch over you, see how you do things, make sure no one hurts you." He takes a deep breath and squints his eyes. "Then under it, was a woman. The woman you're supposed to be playing cat and mouse with."

Feeling slightly angry at Aunt Abby and Joe, I am silent for a moment. I know they want me watched, but the way it makes me feel. Like I'm not safe. And if they wanted someone to watch over me, wouldn't they want Zach to do it?

"Sadie, I think I see the woman you're looking for." Josh says. Feeling a sudden pump in my blood, urging me to spring into action, my muscles tighten, ready. He casually moves a strand of hair from the side of my face. As soon as he does it, I know he is clearing my peripheral vision for me. But it's the feel of him finger tips as the lightly brush my skin. It's the feel of him touching me, the way he looks at my face that makes me feel like falling. I want to fall right into him, right now. But I see her, curly red hair, jacket and throwing something away. I grab his hand and pull him up, wrapping my arms around his waist. I smile and pretend to be flirty. It's like honeypotting. But what I'm really doing is trying to get a better look at her. With Josh's back facing her, I watch as she uses a napkin to wipe her hands.

"Is it her?" He asks, smiling.

I try to look hard. She does look short and is wearing sneakers. But it's whether or not she's married is the answer.

"Could be. Hard to tell." I say, peering up at him. I never noticed how good it felt to feel innocent. When Zach holds me like he does, it's deeper and more protective. But when Josh holds me, it's like last summer is just a passing phase. Like things will get better. Instead of focusing on his new, hardening jaw line, I unwrap myself from him and take his hand. If she's here, she's looking for me too. She starts to walk away and when she gets far enough, we follow.

"We need to get her wallet, Cammie." Josh states the obvious. "But how?"

I am thinking of different ways and trick we can do to get her distracted. We can't cause a scene. That's the exact opposite of something we should do. She's walking without much of a point right now and I am always trying to keep eyes. But it's much more difficult than it seems. The sky is darkening now. My clock says it's nine. I have two hours to get that card and reach the place I need to in time. I can't be late..._again_.We slow down a bit, walking casually. The way she moves through the crowd, quiet and at such a pace it's so unnoticeable. She's a pavement artist. I can tell. I can tell by the way she looks around, the way she moves her feet. I can tell by her pace, by her posture. I can tell because even though her hair attracts someone's eye with all its beauty, she tones everything down. Sneakers, black, hair tied. She looks so natural it scares me. Because she seems to blend in with everyone else. I know this. I walk like that. I move like that. I am like that.

If Josh hadn't seen her, I don't know if I would have. But would she have found me? My anger at Aunt Abby and Joe rises a degree. But so does my respect. Pavement artist chasing pavement artist. Fantastic.

"Cammie," Josh says. "I have an idea."

"What's that?" I ask, shocked.

"It's like magic. We have to stimulate something to distract her. Something she can't resist. Then, using her inability to do so, we take the card. Not the wallet, just the card. If we take the whole wallet, she'll hunt harder for you."

"Okay, how are we going to do that-" I start to ask. But suddenly, there's a loud screech in the comms unit. I have to hold Josh's hands down so he doesn't bring them to his ear. I flinch and suddenly, havoc.

"Kids, this is Mr. Solomon. Abort your missions immediately, I repeat, abort! Get to the van in the same place as before as quickly and as unnoticeable as you can!" His voice is urgent and loud.

I look at Josh then back to the red hair getting farther and farther away. "Abort. Take every precaution you need to get rid of any tail you may have. DO NOT bring anyone to the van. I repeat, abort mission. Out."

Alarmed, I grab onto Josh's hand, but instead of me leading him, he leads me.

"C'mon! Just one more ride, Sade!" He says playfully. I know what he's doing and I have to follow along.

"Promise? Just one more Per?" I ask him.

"Yes, after that I'll walk you home. I promise!" He laughs, tugging me along towards the Ferris wheel. I follow him, forcing my laugh. He hold tightly onto my hand, weaving us towards the Ferris Wheel. Even though I don't know why we need to, I feel like we should just get out of here. Right now. But a part of me want to trust him, a part of me wants to be taken care of.

We keep going until we're in the front of the line, we get into the seat of the Ferris wheel, strap in and then the ride begins. I am looking around for anything. It doesn't matter. Synchronized walking, walking with a mission. I look around for anyone out of place, anyone not blending. I look for my classmates. But nothing. Joe said to lose any tail you had. But...we didn't have a tail. I made sure of that. I know we didn't. I have this feeling, this feeling spreading throughout my fingertips and right down to my toes. I feel it stirring in my stomach like some kind of bad type of stew. No tail. But something else.

"Josh," I whisper, looking at him and turning to fully face him. "Why are we here right now?"

He frowns, "What do you mean? Mr. Solomon said not to bring anyone to the van-"

"Why are we here right now?" I say, more forcibly. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Cammie, why wouldn't I tell you something? I'm not a liar-"

"Tell the truth Josh, or else," I take a deep breath. He's trying to defend himself, trying to cover something dirty, like a secret. This is a sign to lying and even though it shouldn't matter, it hurts. "I swear."

Lights flicker on his face, they flash blue, pink, yellow and green. Music is blasting from speakers and as we continue to circle, he takes a deep breath. His wig hair is going all over the place, into his eyes, away from his eyes. "I saw a couple _different_ people looking at us. And not in the stranger way. Like they were watching us."

My eyes widen, I grab onto Josh's wrist. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because, Cammie-"

"Do you even understand that if I was on an actual mission that I would be dead? You're my partner!" My hands are shaking and we slow down, right at the top. The Ferris Wheel stops, but I don't care. "You're supposed to tell me these things! I'd be dead right now-"

"Cammie!" Josh says suddenly. He inhales from his nose and then exhales from his mouth. His eyebrows are furrowed, but he doesn't look angry. "I didn't tell you because...the people changed all the time. They were constantly changing, and each time I noticed, they'd watch closer. Cammie, what would have happened if _you_ noticed? What would they have done? I don't know what's going on or even if it's serious, but all I knew was that they wanted you to notice."

"You don't know that!" I burst, I hit my hand against the metal bar holding us in. "I've been doing this since I could go to school, don't you dare, _ever_ not tell me. You're my partner tonight, you tell me!"

He's quiet for awhile, but he still doesn't look angry. "Just because we're in Roseville, doesn't mean that they'll chase you away again."

Just like that, my breath hitches and we go further down the wheel. "Wh-what?"

"They chased you away, Cammie. They tried to lead you into their hands. So that they can wrap you around their pinky finger and squeeze till all that was left was what they wanted." His voice is hoarse and intense, he grabs me by my shoulders. But his touch is soft and firm, a chill goes down my spine and we're so close. Too close. Am I uncomfortable? "Cammie, I don't care what I have to learn or how intense it will be. They will not take you again, I will not let you make the decision that they can have you."

"Josh...stop." I whisper, pushing him away. "I'm not your responsibility."

"No, but you will be."

The ride goes again, until Josh is leading me off with our sickly-love struck faces plastered on our faces like a beauty queen with dirty secrets. But I guess now, we are the beauty kings and queens. Even though we are ourselves most of the time, that doesn't mean we still don't wear the mask.

"Cammie," Josh whispers into my ear. "Look to the gate, they're waiting."

I zoom into the entrance where we come in and out. I notice three people who shifted from the aiming game, with the guns, standing near the door. The van is on the south side of the parking lot, just left of the entrance. And they're waiting.

"Come," I say quickly, leading him to the left, where the fence devises the fairgrounds and the parking lot. We dodge people, trying to match their speed and direction. It's darker on the south side, with more storage areas, big semis that haul the rides and trailers. We get there quickly, ducking into the dark, beside two trailers. I let go of Josh's hand in the dark and step back.

"We have to make sure we're not seen. We can't lead them back to the vans. Considering they're at the entrance in the open, there must be people waiting along the sides. I don't know for sure what they're trying to do." I elaborate. I don't say more than this though, my fear becoming irrational. I quickly take off my sweater, and as I do so, it goes inside out and goes black.

"Woah!" Josh says. I unfold the rest of the sleeves, suddenly feeling self conscious that they only thing I have under, is my honey potting bra and white tank top, I quickly put my sweater back on, now black. "Do all your clothes do that?"

"You'd be surprised." I say. "Now, take off your wig and put up your hood."

He does as I say, his blonde coming off and revealing his beautiful, brown wavy hair. He leaves his contacts in and I have to restrain myself from sighing. I like his brown hair better. We don't leave his hair here and he checks to see if anything is around. Nothing. With my comms unit making a slight static sound, I know that we are all dark to each other. But considering that we had to abort a mission, I guess contact could be intercepted. But by who? _Samuel Lyle._

"Let's go." I say. I sneak along the line of the fence, trying to find the van and trying to spot for people. When suddenly...

"Hello Cameron Morgan."

Whipping around and pushing Josh behind me, I remember the nicotine patch in my pocket. Standing my ground, I wait for whoever is speaking to come out. He's walking, tall and lean from what I can tell from what little light I have. I feel Josh behind me and I hold onto his hand just in case there's a threat from behind.

"_Who are you?"_ I demand, trying to back up.

"Oh, I think you already know who I am." He replies. He's walking with almost no sound, a shadow unattached from a foot, a trickle of wind.

My gut says his name, my heart spells it out. "_Samuel Lyle."_

"Good job there, sweet heart." He lights up a cigarette, the smoke trailing a way up to the night sky. He leans against a trailer, his chin pointed upwards. I can tell he has a short, well groomed beard. Terrified, I stand my ground, with Josh behind me. I don't move and strain my ears for anything else, anything. His face is unknown, just angles and shadows. I hear people laughing, yelling and having fun. But there's a wide gap between me and them, their carefree faces while I'm as tense as a tight rope.

"Have you finally come to kill me, honey?" I counter, my mouth tasting like poison. He laughs a humourless laugh, short and smokey like the thing around his lips.

"Oh," He sighs. "I could have killed you long time ago. I could kill you now, but all I want is to talk."

"About what?" I ask, backing my body up against Josh and taking one step back. But even as I try, I know I'm surrounded. I can sense the awful feeling of being trapped. And even though I'm sure I can take them, I can't do it by myself. Not with Josh and not with the possibility of the enemy being loaded with guns.

"Oh, about how the weather has been lately." He says. He's still in the shadows, darkness envelopes all of us, but the only thing I can think of is how to get away.

"Get on with it!" I snap, my patience wearing dangerously thin.

"Fine," He drones on. "No, what I wanted to talk about, was you of course. I wanted to warn you."

"Warn me about what?" I ask, my tone soothing and taking another step back.

"Oh, you know, about inside sources and the fact that if you should try to leave our meeting, then my sniper will blow the head off your pretty boyfriend's neck." He exhales, his smoke clouding around him for a second. "You see, sweetheart. I may not be able to get what I want from you now. But I will. And when I do, you'll be too dead to even realize what's been taken from you."

Instinctively, I say, "He's not my boyfriend."

From behind me, I can hear Josh breathing and feel his chest rise and feel against my back. Samuel chuckles. And even though every part of my body wants to rip him to shreds, I can't help but to think what a nice chuckle he has. "Oh, I know. Zachary Goode, Blackthorne Academy met at Smithsonian Museum."

"How do you..." I trail off, hearing the weakness coming into my voice. I feel Josh's hand above my elbow suddenly . I quickly compose myself and snap. "What do you want that I have?"

"You, sweetheart. I want you. Specifically, your memories."

"How will you do that?" Josh demands from behind me. I practically jump off the ground, his hard, demanding voice exploding the silence. He tries to move in front of my, but I hold him back, praying he knows to stay put.

"Simple. But, I was talking to Cameron Morgan." He clears his throat. "I wanted to simply tell you to be careful. There's people inside of that school of yours who will kill you before I can even get what I want."

"Your people." I state.

"No," He exhales. "Your people."

A chill goes throughout my body, leaving me desperate for warmth. Desperate for trust. "Why should I take your word?"

"Because even as I am standing here speaking to you right now, the person you are to be aware of is waiting right now. And I am not even laying a single finger on your dirty little head."

"But that doesn't mean I should trust you. I'm betting you sent Mr. McGraw, didn't you?" People don't like to be forced to tell you things, but they like to contradict you. And as the darkness is covering us from all types of prying eyes, I have to be careful. I have to be clean and calm.

He exhales a puff of smoke again. "There's people in the world who will take a life to protect _anything_. And what I'm here for is to tell you to be careful, because they'll take you before I can even get my hands on that head of yours."

"Why not take me now?" I ask.

He laughs again, but this time it sounds more like he's mocking me. "Oh, Cameron Morgan. Why don't you think for a moment. Why would I take you when you don't even have what I need yet?"

"You're telling me all of this because you're a coward, and you need you be reassured, is that it?" No, of course it isn't it. But again, I want him to tell me all the things he consciously doesn't want to.

He puff out another cloud of smoke, the end of it glowing bright red for a moment. "Be careful, Cameron Morgan. Inside those walls of yours there are people who will take and people who will give. I want you to be careful so when the perfect time arises, you will be ready for my taking."

"I don't understand," I whisper, not getting anything he's saying.

"You will, Cameron Morgan," He says, throwing his cigarette down onto the ground and crushing it with his foot. He dusts off his hands and stands up straight. "My sniper will still have the gun pointed to Mr. Josh Abram's head even when I'm gone. Don't try to look for me, don't try to send other people to look for me and don't tell people of this encounter. For I will be in the places too deep for you to reach and if the people you trust most find out, they will die along with you later on."

My blood turns so cold I can't get oxygen into my lungs, my mouth seals completely shut and I can feel my ring finger twitch. He walks away, sauntering off and just as he does so, I can see he's wearing a blazer. "Good night, Cameron Morgan. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

_**A/N: Meh, I believe I could have done better. But whatever! Finally, the fourth and longest chapter by far; I hope you like it. And if you don't like it, please leave a review and lie to me about how fabulous I did! And if you did like it, still comment how fabulous it is!**_

_**What a long day for them huh? Haha, kay. Bye. I loves you. Sorry for the wait and the long A/N. Fifth chapter will be uploaded the same day also.**_


	5. Run

_**Divine like the Wolves- Chapter 5**_

_**Run**_

_**Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns the Gallagher Girls series and all characters in the original books. ^.^**_

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_**A/N: IMPORTANT! READ! Please, pretty, pretty please listen to this song:**_

(The link won't work) YouTube:_** Daughter- Run (With Lyrics) [HQ]**_

_**While you read this chapter! Please! And I hope you like it, it's just a quick chapter about Josh.**_

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**Josh's POV**

They said I wouldn't be allowed to carry on with my memories coming back to me like the way they do. I guess if I had to choose, I wouldn't go back. Why would I want to be a pharmacist or pay for college when my career path would be set for me here? Even if I would be giving up a normal life, I don't want normal. Normal is boring.

_Run. Keep running. My feet hit the road, the yellow lines leading me to the sure place of where I have to go. My heart is beating heavily in my chest but I'm used to of running. I have been practising since I left Gallagher Academy that night. Running to nowhere all the time. But this time I have a sure destination and I have to reach it. My eyes are blurring and I can't tell why. Maybe it's the pain in lower right of my head, just above my ear. I have to keep going though, I have to keep running. Keeping going, keep going._

They said that it is best for the whole school, best for Cammie. Beautiful Cammie with smooth hair that grazes past her shoulders and eyes so stunning I wonder if she knows. She has a smile as bright as her mind and kindness so flawless. Cammie whose soft palms kept me behind her as the man blew smoke up into the sky and her back pressed up against my chest. She spoke with such assurance and calmness that I knew it; she was born to do this.

I lay in my new bed with Zach, Grant and a boy named Jonas in the room. It's awkward but their playing nice. I can't sleep. Not with the chills still in my toes and my eyes wide open thinking of the things he's said tonight. Samuel Lyle she said. _For I will be in the places too deep for you to reach and if the people you trust most find out, they will die along with you later on._ Someone wants to hurt her, someone in this school. And the way she looked at me when I wanted to say something was enough for me to keep this a secret. I have told no one. And even though I want to, I know I can't. Not with that threat.

"_I want to commend you all for doing a great job tonight. Our adjectives might not have been met tonight but you all followed orders smoothly." Mr. Solomon said when we were all in the mansion in a place where they poked my finger for blood. We all sat in the desk, everyone wired and tapping their feet. Cammie sat down beside me and didn't glance at me at all._

"_As you know, one of our own went missing last year-" Abby says and suddenly, everyone glances at Cammie. Alarmed, I look to her and she looks at me. I frown in question but she just shakes her head no and looks away. As if saying, not now. "And the people who had encouraged this were out there tonight."_

_A collective movement stirs the class but no one says a word. "As far as we know, there was no contact. But keep this to yourselves like the CIA you are being trained to be."_

"_We are all safe," Cammie's mom says. "I want each of you to go to your rooms and stay there. Come Monday, classes are going to be as usual."_

_A hand shoots up and then someone asks, "Will we still be going on missions?"_

"_To be determined." Mr. Solomon says._

Cammie went missing and I was at home thinking about DeeDee and if she'll like the presents I got her. This whole tiring day, starting from the moment where I fell to my cold floor clutching my head to now has been a roller coaster. First I see Cammie with sweat beading at the back of her neck and pieces of hair sticking to her forehead and looking so different from the last time I saw her. More mature looking. Then there was the meeting and then sitting outside of the office with her, both in our running clothes. It was like we were going to run away together. Escape this town with hidden secrets.

But then she was acting like a shield tonight and I couldn't help but to feel useless. I couldn't help but to think of the fun of the night when she was at my side, smiling up at me with brown hair. She called me _Perry._ As she should, but it still gave me the awakening I needed. She was with Zach who's bed is the farthest from mine. And he would have done something tonight.

I admit, today had been hard. Especially when my mom kissed me on the cheek with tears in her eyes as she said goodbye. Like as if I was going away forever and would never see her again. And the way my dad patted my back telling me that he was proud of me. To them, I got into a good school that would pay for my college tuition. Then they drove me away like everything was wrapped up and ready.

I'm so tired. So, so tired. I finally close my eyes, reminding myself that this was the life I chose. And this is the life I will be living from now on.

_I dream of smoke billowing and swirling around my head and a laughter so haunting I try to inch away from it. But there's chains around my ankles that signal my location in the swallowing darkness. I keep trying to scream, to escape the coldness I feel on my body in certain places. But I can't hear anything, and all I can feel is a rasp clawing its way up but falling short. I see blasts of colour, sometimes it's blue and sometimes it's yellow or white. But mostly it's blue. I can't fight my way out and I see faces flashing before my eyes but I don't know who each of them are. The laughter becomes louder and louder till it's so deafening I can just barely hear the chains binding me. Where are my eyes? Where's up? Searing pain. Fear._

"JOSH?!"


End file.
